Tim Payne

Our Christmas Card For Those Who Didn't Get One

2012-01-02T23:56:00.001-06:00

If you didn't get a Christmas card from us, I apologize, so here it is...sort of. This was the picture we used and it said "Wishing You A Perry Christmas!" There you have it - almost as good as the real thing, right?

If you've seen Phineas & Ferb, you'll get it, but apparently not everyone has seen the show. We had some family members who thought we just spelled "Merry" wrong and were honestly debating whether or not they should bring it to our attention.

So, if you didn't get the card, I hope you had a Perry (or Merry) Christmas anyway!

12 for '12

2012-01-01T23:46:00.001-06:00

Rather than try to be the first person to tell you Happy New Year, I thought I'd switch things up a little and be the last person to tell you Happy New Year!

Regardless of how good or bad 2011 was for you, I hope this year is 2012 times better.

And since every human being on the planet is apparently supposed to make some sort of a list around the end/beginning of the year, here is a list of 12 words in random order (get it? 12 words...the year 2012...clever, eh?) that will shape the coming year for me.

Focus
Brave
True
Simplicity
Renew
Prayer
Connect
Grow
Faith
Joy
Hope
Create

What would your word(s) be for the coming year?

A Style All His Own

2011-12-07T07:55:00.001-06:00

Daphne and Jadon went to a choir concert a couple nights ago and this is what he picked out to wear. Love it!

Things I Think...I Think

2011-12-01T09:25:00.001-06:00

I think Starbucks that are located inside a grocery store should be called "Storebucks."

Get it? Because "Storebucks" sounds like "Starbucks" and it's located in a grocery store. And "Grocery Bucks" is just confusing and awkward.

I think it's funny that PBS is just "pubes" without the vowels.

I'm sure that one day this kind of stuff will stop being funny to me...but that day has yet to arrive. I guess it could also be "pabes" or "pobes" but neither of those make me chuckle.

I think sheep that live in places where it rains a lot should be extra strong.

Being a wet sheep is a workout - all the rain soaks into the wool makes the wool heavier, which forces the sheep to get stronger as they carry the rain soaked wool on their backs all day. Not to mention all the mud that they inevitably have to walk through. I imagine sheep in wet climates probably look like they are on steroids compared to regular wimpy sheep.

I think the term "Certified Pre-Owned Cars" is funny.

Why "certified" instead of just "pre-owned"? Are car dealers constantly having to prove to people that the cars they are selling have previously been owned? Are they being accused of selling people new cars at pre-owned prices? Is it happening often enough that they feel the need to have pre-owned cars certified so people won't think they are getting too good a deal?

What do you think?

When Did Toilets Get So Complicated?

2011-11-29T07:00:00.000-06:00

It's always nice to see local restaurants doing their part to save the planet and it was thoughtful of them to explain how to properly flush, but if you have to waste a piece of paper explaining how to use the toilet doesn't it kind of defeat the purpose?

The Paynes vs. One Strange Turkey

2011-11-24T10:20:00.001-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving to every man, woman, child, and turkey!

I never gave much thought to what all the turkeys who were fortunate enough not to be cooked and eaten did on Thanksgiving, but you would think they would be hiding somewhere until the holidays are over.

Not this guy though! We saw him standing on the side of the road while we were on our way to spend the day with family, so naturally we went back to take a picture (a live turkey on Thanksgiving day has to mean something, I suppose). Instead of standing still and posing for a family photo, he decided to be a bit ornery.

If I was a good redneck, I would have shot the thing or at least run over it and cooked him up for dinner, but my redneckery did not kick in. Instead, we pulled out our phones and took some video. Less tasty, but easier to share with more people, so here you go:

So what exactly was that turkey doing? I have a couple ideas, but maybe there is a turkey-whisperer out there that can give a better explanation of this bird-brained fellow.

Here are my guesses:

1. He was the alpha-turkey asserting his dominance over Toyota Camrys.
2. He was tired of the chicken who crossed the road getting all the attention.
3. He was depressed due to the loss of friends and family and trying to end it all.

What do you think was going on in the head of this turkey? What was he trying to accomplish?

They're Back!

2011-11-23T00:11:00.001-06:00

Between the anticipation created by the two month or so countdown on their website and all the hype over the last week or so, it was obvious that something big was coming. They promised their fans that November 22, 2011 would be a day they would not soon forget...and boy, did they deliver!

On Tuesday November 22, 2011...Five Iron Frenzy announced that they were starting a Kickstarter campaign to try to raise $30,000 in order to fund a new album and releasing a new song titled It Was A Dark And Stormy Night - the first new music they have released since their farewell show over 8 years ago!

The goal was to raise the $30,000 by January 21, 2012...that goal was met in under an hour. In fact, in the first four hours (8pm-Midnight CST) they raised over $66,000! I think it's safe to say that their fans are fairly excited .

Five Iron Frenzy is my all-time favorite band - their music is what really got me into music back in the day and has had more of an impact on me than anything else I've ever listened to. If you are a fan of good, honest music you need to check them out. I realize that ska music probably isn't for everyone, but give it a chance and it may grow on you.

Here are a few places where you can check out FIF and what they are doing:

Five Iron Frenzy Website

Facebook

Twitter

Kickstarter

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night (Listen)

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night (Lyrics)

FIF on iTunes

A Quintet Of Quixotic Questions

2011-11-21T07:00:00.000-06:00

Question #1: Does water float?
When you pour a small amount of water (bucket) into a larger amount of water (ocean), what happens to the smaller amount of water? Does it float on top, sink to the bottom, or mix in somewhere in the middle?

Question #2: Is valet parking negotiable?
If you park your car right in the way and just sit there long enough, will the valet service agree to park your car for a discounted rate, just so you will allow them to move your car out of the way? I've never actually experienced valet parking (don't trust them - they might carnap Virgil), so I'm really not sure how that works, but it seem like if you just show up an hour early and sit there in the way, you could get a sweet rate on the valet parking.

Question #3: Why do people get so sad when someone famous dies?
It's not like we really know the person, their family, or friends. Is it for selfish reasons? Are we just sad because we realize that they won't be around to entertain us anymore?

Question #4: Are canker sores just reverse pimples?
Or are pimples just canker sores that grew outward instead of inward? I wonder if it would be possible to have one of each at the same time at the same spot on the same cheek? What would you even call that? A Cankimple? A Pinker Sore? Why has no one figured this out yet?

Question #5: Why would you ever pick a capped pen over a retractable pen?
The only possible reason I can think of is so you never have to worry about the pen accidentally being clicked and stabbing you in the leg...or somewhere worse. I'd say the odds of losing the pen cap are just a good as the accidental leg stab. At least if a retractable pen gets clicked, it can always be clicked back; the only way to lose the retractability is to take the pen apart and remove the spring. If you lose a pen cap though, the pen is going to dry out and become unusable, but only after covering everything near it in ink.

Jadon's Current Favorite Song

2011-11-17T06:00:00.000-06:00

This is my all-time favorite song by my all-time favorite musicmakers - and currently Jadon's favorite song. Every time we get in the car he says "Number 11!" and wants it repeated as soon as it's over. What can I say? That boy has good taste in music!

Five Iron Frenzy - "Every New Day"

If you've never heard of Five Iron Frenzy, you're missing out! They played their last show in November 2003, but have recently been hyping up a big announcement that they are about to make. Whatever it is must be big because they have guaranteed that it will make FIF fans pee their pants. Who doesn't like to be excited to point of pants peeing?

Check out their Five Iron Frenzy Website for a countdown to the big event and the Five Iron Frenzy Facebook page for music and updates.

There is also a Something Awesome event page that you should check out, as well as a Find The Blue Comb based on their song Blue Comb '78.

The World's Best Hand Dryers

2011-11-16T11:32:00.000-06:00

I've never been much of a fan of hand dryers in public restrooms, and I still almost always choose paper towels if given an option, but these two hand dryers are about as good as it gets if paper towels are not an option.

The Xlerator was the first hand dryer that I ever used that actually gets hands completely dry the first time. I'm pretty sure it could also be used to exfoliate your skin since it nearly blows the skin right off your hands. If you have ever wanted to see the skin on your hands ripple like the waves in the ocean, this is the hand dryer for you.

This Dyson Airblade hand dryer is fairly new and cutting-edge as far as hand dryers go. Instead of placing your hands under the dryer, your hands are lowered into the dryer and slowly raised out. Fortunately for me, it has a picture on the dryer to explain how it works and is not nearly as dangerous as the name makes it sound. This is probably the coolest hand dryer I have used .

Do you prefer paper towels or hand dryers? Do you have a favorite hand dryer or know of any others that the world needs to know about?

Weird Things I Do

2011-11-14T10:43:00.000-06:00

Everyone has their share of weird habits, right? At least that's what I choose to believe to make myself feel better about all the weird stuff I do. Here are a few examples of what I'm talking about:

-- When I drive over a cigarette that someone just flicked out their car window, I always pretend
that it blows up my car (complete with sound effects).

-- When I hear one of those air fresheners in a public restroom that sounds like someone
opening a bottle of pop, I always think (and often say) "Can I have a drink?"

-- I like to pretend that the interference/break-ins that come through my iPod's FM Transmitter
are part of the song I'm listening to.

-- When I see someone buying a fountain drink, I often try to guess which kind of pop they are
going to choose (I get it right approximately 31.8% of the time).

-- Whenever I am making a sharp turn into a parking space I always lean in the direction I am
turning, as if it's going to help me turn sharper or keep from scraping the car next to me.

-- Every time I catch myself doing weird things, I reassure myself that it's okay because
everyone has their own quirky habits.

Do you have any weird/quirky things that you do...or am I alone in the weirdness?

Eleven Elevens On Eleven Eleven Eleven

2011-11-11T11:11:00.000-06:00

In honor of 11-11-11, here is eleven written eleven different ways...

ELEVEN

eleven

Eleven

eleveN

ElEvEn

eLeVeN

EleveN

eLEVEn

E.L.E.V.E.N.

XI

11

Choose Life Billboard

2011-11-06T00:46:00.000-05:00

It's a little hard to read the whole thing, but it says "Choose Life...Your Mother Did."

While I agree with the words on the sign...perhaps a cemetary is not the best place to put it.

Super Jadon

2011-10-31T13:48:00.000-05:00

Jadon's 2011 Halloween Costume.

Kissing Hands and Shaking Babies

2011-10-31T12:54:00.000-05:00

Jadon stayed home sick from school one day, but we had to run by and drop off some stuff for his teacher. When we got to the school, his class was playing outside and got excited when they saw him get out of the car. A bunch of the kids ran up to the fence and were reaching through, trying to get to him.

Some of the kids were yelling for Jadon to give them a five or a hug, but some were just yelling "Touch me Jadon, touch me!" I figure he's either practicing for his future life as a preacher, a politician, or a celebrity. It will be good practice for later, when he's shaking babies and kissing hands...or however that saying goes.

Jadon & Daddy

2011-10-26T00:51:00.001-05:00

Before bed tonight.

Plan B

2011-09-23T06:20:00.000-05:00

Have you ever felt like you stepped out on faith and smashed it to pieces?

Maybe you honestly felt like God was calling you to do something or go somewhere, but once you did it everything seemed to begin to fall apart. Now you're trying to pick up the pieces and get your life back on track, while wondering how you could have felt so sure about something that ended up being so wrong.

They say every cloud has a silver lining, but does it ever feel like the silver linings of all the clouds are tarnished?

You are desperately searching for a ray of hope in the midst of the storm that is your life, but it seems like every time you see a light shining down from the clouds, it turns out to be a bolt of lightning that knocks you back down. You know that storms are inevitable and rain is necessary if fruit is to be produced, but you are wondering if the storm is ever going to end.

Do you ever feel like you are asleep and can't wake up?

You are drifting in and out of consciousness, knowing that you need to wake up and get going because there is so much more to life than where you are at and what you have done, but you can't figure out how to snap out of the funk and get things moving in the right direction. You know that for things to get better, you have to stand up and get moving, but it would be so much easier to pull the covers up over your head, shut out the rest of the world, and let yourself fall into a deep sleep.

"What do you do when God doesn't show up the way you thought He would?"

"What do you do when your life isn't turning out the way you thought it would? "

"What do you do when your dreams are shattered? "

Pete Wilson is pastor of Cross Point Church in the Nashville, TN area and he addresses these three questions, among others, in Plan B: What Do You Do When God Doesn't Show Up The Way You Thought He Would.

Have you ever read a book that seemed like the whole purpose of it being written was so that you could read it at the exact time and situation you are in? This was that book for me. At a time when I was feeling beat down, hopeless, and searching for answers, this book was a God-send. Literally. As I was reading it, I felt like God was using the words of Pete Wilson to communicate a message of hope and comfort at the time I needed it most.

Thank you, Pete Wilson, for writing this book and for your willingness to allow God to speak through you.

Find out more about the book: planbbook.com

Read Pete's blog: withoutwax.tv

Find Pete on Facebook

Connect with Pete on Twitter @pwilson

It's About The Message, Not The Messenger

2011-09-21T06:29:00.000-05:00

I was going through some old papers yesterday and found this quote that I had written down a while back:

"There may well be many in the congregation whose faith is richer, more mature, and more tested than the preacher's. In addition, there will probably be people in the congregation who have more education or more common sense, who have a firmer grasp of human nature, or maybe even know more Bible and theology than does the preacher. To call the preacher an authority does not mean that the preacher is wiser than others. What it does mean is that the preacher is the one whom the congregation sends on their behalf, week after week to the scripture." (The Witness Of Preaching by Thomas J. Long)

What a great reminder to those who preach and those who listen! Too often, we assume that to preach, a person must be the smartest, wisest, most theologically advanced person in the room. The problem with that point of view is that it is often not true and can lead to arrogance on both the part of the preacher and of the listener. Arrogance in the preacher, if he assumes that this is true; arrogance in the listener, when he feels that he has a deeper understanding of a passage or is more theologically advanced than the preacher.

I once heard Steven Furtick say "How you perceive someone determines how you receive them." He was talking about our attitude toward people in general, but that statement is true of the preacher/listener dynamic as well. When a preacher gets up to preach, we tend to make certain assumptions based on how he is dressed, how he speaks, and what we think we know about him. The problem with this is that our preconceived notions about a person can often prevent us from hearing from God. What we think about a person does not limit their ability to effectively communicate spiritual truth to people - it limits our ability to receive and understand spiritual truths from God.

How many times have we missed out on something that God was trying to say to us because of our attitude toward or false assumptions about the person God was using to communicate that message? Who are we to say who God can or can't use to speak through? Often times, we miss what God is trying to tell us because we think too much of ourselves or too little of the person God is speaking through.

Instead of judging what a person says based on who we think they are and what we think we know about them, remember that because of who He is and what He knows about a person, God will use anyone he sees fit to communicate the message that He wants people to hear. If you believe that God can use you and speak through you...He can use anyone. You and I are no better and no more worthy of being used by God than anyone else. We are all broken, sinful, messed up people who God uses not because of who we are or what we've done, but in spite of who we are and what we've done.

If you are the one preaching, this should be especially encouraging for you. Forget about how much you think you don't know. Stop focusing on how many people you are speaking to that are smarter, deeper, or more spiritual than you are. It's not that there aren't people in the crowd that are smarter or deeper than you are - it's that there are almost always going to be people in the crowd that are smarter or deeper than you. But they are not the one that God is using to speak through...YOU ARE. Sure, God can use those people to reach who he wants them to reach, but you are the one He has chosen to speak through to the church you are leading. And you are the one your church has chosen to represent them before God in study and to communicate the message that God wants your church to hear.

Whether you are speaking or listening, don't let what you think you know about other people be a hindrance to the effective communication or reception of God's message to His people - the message is more important than the messenger.

God IS

2011-09-15T19:43:00.000-05:00

God IS Life.

He is the giver of life; we are the receivers of life. Though life is something we possess, it is what God IS. When God gives us life, He is giving us a small part of Himself. God IS life, love, truth, and all that is good. From Him we can possess these things, but only He IS these things. We can have love, know truth, and possess knowledge of that which is good, but only God IS truth, love, life, and all that is good.

31 Days To Finding Your Blogging Mojo

2011-09-13T21:00:00.000-05:00

When I heard that Bryan Allain was writing an e-book about blogging, I had high hopes for it. Bryan has been blogging for 10+ years, coaches other people on how to improve their blogs, and founded an online community (Killer Tribes) where bloggers can come together for advice and to help one another, so naturally I assumed that his new e-book 31 Days To Finding Your Blogging Mojo would be something worth reading.

My expectations obviously weren't high enough because this book exceeded them.

31 Days To Finding Your Blogging Mojo is packed full of great advice, practical tips, and fantastic ideas that anyone can use to make their blog better - all laced with Bryan's signature humor that you've come to know and love on his blog. (If you haven't come to know and love it on his blog, then you need to start reading his blog. Now. Do it. Stop missing out. Think clicking on the links I've given you to his blog is the lazy way? Then go to your address bar, type in bryanallain.com and hit enter. Then you can be proud of yourself for not taking a shortcut.)

The book is separated into three sections that are broken down into 31 "days" with action steps to be done at the end of each day. If you want to take your time and spend 31 days going through the book you can, but it's one of those books that you won't want to stop reading once you start.

If you have ever struggled with:

Figuring out what you want your blog to be about
Focusing your content so it's not so random and scattered
Improving your content
Coming up with new content
Connecting with your readers and facilitating conversation
Keeping your readers' attention
Effectively using networking, social media, and guest posts

this book is for you. Maybe you haven't struggled with any of these things and there is nothing you can do to improve because you already have this blogging stuff perfected. If that's the case, you are awesome and I am quite proud of you. You don't need to read this book, but maybe you can recommend it to someone who hasn't achieved your level of bloglightenment.

If you want to get 31 Days To Finding Your Blogging Mojo, you can get it at 31daystomojo.com or at Amazon.

Want to connect with Bryan Allain or just creepily watch him without him knowing you're there? Here is where you can find him:

Bryan's Blog

Bryan on Twitter

Bryan on Facebook

Killer Tribes Website

Killer Tribes on Twitter

Killer Tribes on Facebook

Jadon's Current Favorite Songs

2011-09-12T02:45:00.000-05:00

Depending on the song, it can be either a good thing or a terribly annoying thing when your 5 year old finds a song that he loves and wants to listen to over and over again.

For your listening pleasure...here are two of Jadon's favorite songs right now. These are the songs that he loves to listen (and sing along) to repeatedly when we are driving in the car. Every time we listen to one of these songs and it comes to an end, I hear "Again!" being hollered from the back seat.

Luckily, Daphne and I both like these songs too, so they still have yet to turn into the kind of songs that make you want to rip your ears off the side of your head.

Rootbeer - Pink Limousine (Ugly Zombie Remix)

Lecrae - High

The UnNamed - WooHoo (Camp Firefall VBS Song)

(Click Song Title To Listen)

Why Churches & Football Teams Are More Similar Than You May Realize

2011-09-09T12:41:00.000-05:00

Football is back! I don't know about you, but I am pretty excited and looking forward to a new season. Along with a new football season inevitably comes a barrage of football themed sermon illustrations, but perhaps there is a good reason for it. It recently crossed my mind that when you compare the people who make up a church with the people who make up a football team, there are a lot of similarities. Here is what I came up with:

TEAM STAFF/FRONT OFFICE: CHURCH LEADERSHIP
Owner Of Team: God
Each ultimately has the final say in all things. Nothing happens without them knowing and they are able to step in at anytime and do what they feel is necessary.

Head Coach: Preacher
They are the ones who stand up in front of the team to motivate, encourage, instruct, and cast vision. They are the ones who are typically held responsible for the overall health and effectiveness of their team.

Coaching Staff: Elders
They are the ones who guide and instruct the team, with each serving and using their strengths in a particular area. They also encourage and support the head coach/pastor, keep him accountable if they see areas where he is going off-track, and help the team stick to the vision being cast by the head coach/preacher

TEAM MEMBERS: CHURCH MEMBERS
Quarterback
These are the people in visible leadership roles. They are the ones who are willing to step up, take charge of projects/ministries, don't mind being the center of attention, and are okay with having other people look to them for guidance. They tend to be extroverts, have big personalities, and are seen as natural leaders by people who know them.

Halfback (Running Back)
These are the people who are able and willing to lead when called upon. They may not always be the first to step up and lead, but when asked, they are willing to step up, take over, and run with a project. The people in church leadership positions know that if there is something that needs to be done, they can hand it off to this person and know that it is in good hands. They may not be the ones who come up with a lot of ideas, but you can present an idea to them and they catch the vision, see what needs to be done, take over, and run with it through completion.

Wide Receiver
These are the people who just start serving somewhere, keep serving consistently in that area, and may eventually be put in a leadership role or put in charge of the area in which they have been serving. They are willing to keep serving, working, and doing the same thing for as long as they are needed. If the time comes when they are asked to step up and lead the area they have been serving in, they are willing to do so and carry it on to completion.

Tight End
These are the people who are willing to serve in either and public, visible role or behind the scenes. They are willing to do the grunt work behind the scenes for as long as needed, but will also step up and take on a more visible role if that is where they can best be used. They may be more naturally gifted in one role or the other, but are willing to serve in either way, depending on where they can best help the team.

Fullback
These are the people who make it their goal to make the jobs and lives of those in leadership go as smoothly as possible. They take care of the "small" stuff so that the people in leadership roles can better focus their time and energy on the main aspects of their jobs. People tend to not even realize they are there or know exactly what it is they do. They rarely get any kind of recognition for what they do until they "retire," move away, or die - but once they are gone people realize the impact that their service had.

Offensive Line
These are the people in the trenches, doing the dirty work, who tend to get taken for granted. They do the things that must be in order for everything else to go smoothly, so that the more visible members of the team are able to perform their duties. If these people were not there doing what they do, nothing else would work properly and the opposition would cause chaos among the team.

Defensive Line
These are the people who are called upon as the first line of defense when something starts to go wrong or needs to be addressed quickly. The leadership of the team know that they can count on these people to effectively address and control the situation. They are willing to step in and do whatever it takes to get the situation under control.

Linebackers (Pass Rushers)
These are the people who referred to as "Prayer Warriors." They are always chasing down and putting pressure on the enemy. Rather than sit back and wait for something to go wrong, they attack the opponent with all they've got. These are the people who are constantly in prayer for the leadership, church members, and anyone else who may need prayer. They are the first to sign up for prayer meetings, are willing to stop and pray with anyone right on the spot, and have lists of leaders, missionaries, and other Christians around the world that they are praying for.

Secondary
These are the people who step up and come through when things seem like they are falling apart. When there is a crisis, people are going through difficult times, or things are extremely busy, these people step up and do whatever it takes to make sure things are handled and the situation doesn't get too out of control. Some of these people are very involved, serving in many different areas and helping out wherever needed. Others hang back, blend in, and wait until it is obvious that they are needed, but when times get tough and the situation looks desperate is when they do their best work.

Special Teams/Punter
These are the people who step up when things seem to be stalling. They may not have the most glamorous roles, but are always prepared and do what is expected of them. Instead of seeing their being called upon as an admission of failure, they see it as a strategic opportunity to reassess the situation, push back against the opponent, and regain some of the ground that was lost.

Kicker
These are the people who consistently execute, successfully do what is asked of them, are rarely given credit and have their successes minimized, but are quick to be blamed when they do mess up. They will step up in critical situations and do what needs to be done to help the team achieve success, but when things don't work out as hoped, they are the ones that people focus on to assess blame - even though no one else was willing to step up and do what they were willing to do. A lot of the things they do may seem simple, but are more difficult than people realize, especially considering the pressure-filled circumstances in which they take place.

Waterboy/Equipment Manager
These are the people who make sure everything is working properly, are quick to recognize the needs of others, and are constantly looking for ways to serve and meet the needs of others in ways that most people may not see. They do the things that most people never think of or realize need to be done; the things that always get done, but no one really knows who does it or how/when it gets done. They rarely, if ever, get recognized for the work they do, but they are okay with that. They do what they do, not for recognition, but simply because it needs to be done.

What do you think? Am I crazy? What did I leave out? Feel free to make comment, suggestions, or call me names in the comments.

Happy 5th Birthday Jadon!

2011-08-02T06:07:00.000-05:00

Holy moley - can you believe it? Jadon Payne is 5 years old today! Happy birthday Jadon! I think someone must have increased the rate at which time passes because these last five years have flown by.

Jadon has definitely changed our lives for the better and brought more laughter and entertainment than I ever could have imagined. We are so proud of that boy and can hardly wait to see what the next 5 years hold...and the next 5...and the next 5...and the next 5...and on and on.

Proper Use Of A Mini-Plunger

2011-08-01T05:23:00.000-05:00

I'm not exactly sure what the purpose of a miniature plunger is, but this seems like as good a guess as any. I'm just hoping that this particular mini-plunger was brand new and not one that had been returned after someone had tried to use it, but realized that it wasn't big enough to do the job.

Do I Look Handsome?

2011-07-09T06:21:00.000-05:00

This is what happens when Jadon dresses himself...gotta love it! His outfits are always less boring than when we pick them out.

Wienermobile!

2011-06-24T11:11:00.000-05:00

The Wienermobile was in Joplin today, so we went and checked it out. Seriously - who can pass up the opportunity to see a giant, drivable wiener? Thanks for your contribution to society, Oscar Mayer!

It's a giraffe. Really.

2011-06-18T06:42:00.000-05:00

Here is a recent drawing that Jadon did in Sunday School. Luckily, we were teaching Sunday School that week, so we didn't have to give an explanation for his Freudian giraffe.

The Most Condescending Sign In Town

2011-06-08T02:53:00.000-05:00

This gets my vote for "Most Condescending Sign" in Lebanon. That's a real award, right? No? Oh, well maybe they should make it a real award, even if it's only for one year because this sign deserves it.

Steve's BBQ & Mexican

2011-05-19T20:43:00.000-05:00

When I saw this sign, I assumed it meant one of two things.

#1 - It's a new resraurant owned by some guy named Steve that, for some reason, serves both BBQ and Mexican food.

#2 - Some guy named Steve is having a BBQ, invited a person of Mexican descent, and wants everyone in town to know it.

At first glance, option #1 seems like the obvious choice. However, when I reveal that this sign is in the ultra-diverse community of Lebanon, MO (with its 94.6% White/1.2% Hispanic population), #2 doesn't seem nearly as ludicrous.

So which is it...#1 or #2? As far as I can tell, it's option #1. Apparently, something called "Steve" decided to open a small eatery in Lebanon that serves both BBQ and Mexican food. It definitely seems like a peculiar pairing, but more power to him for thinking outside the saucy sombrero...err, box.

Congraduations!

2011-05-19T02:30:00.000-05:00

I would just like to take this opportunity to say congraduations (Congratulations on Graduation) to my boy Jadon Payne on officially graduating from K-4 (why don't they just call it preschool?).

In addition to graduating, he also received two certificates and two trophies.

Certificate #1 - Quietest Student (he apparently just saves all his noise and energy to entertain us at home)

Certificate #2 - Best Reader

Trophy #1 - Servant Award

Trophy #2 - Bible Memory Award

All in all, it was a good night - Jadon was excited to get all of his awards and Daphne and I were quite the proud parents. We'll keep teaching him and encouraging him to keep learning, but I'm sure he'll teach us a thing or two along the way.

How Micro Is Too Micro?

2011-05-08T17:30:00.000-05:00

I realize that this is a pretty sweet deal (knocking off over half the price) and the portability is unbeatable, but I think this tool may be a bit too micro to be useful.

Hoopin' It Up

2011-04-14T16:26:00.000-05:00

Jadon and I had a pretty intense game of one-on-one going on today. Who won? I'll let the pictures speak for themselves...

3 Is A Magic Number

2011-03-27T02:23:00.000-05:00

To celebrate the completion of three consecutive decades, I thought it would be fitting to share this with you...

Here is something I discovered one day when I was very, very bored. Up until that point my favorite number had always been 1 (Ozzie Smith's number), but I am thinking that I have no choice but to change it to 3. Here's why:

When combined in many different ways, the numbers in my birthdate can be reduced down to the number 3 or a multiple of 3.

3 x 27 = 81,

3 + 2 + 7 = 12

3 + 2 + 7 + 8 + 1 = 21,

3 x 2 x 7 x 8 x 1 = 336,

3 x 2 x 7 x 1 x 9 x 8 x 1 = 3024

Also, if you add those individual numbers together, you end up with a number that is a multiple of 3.

8 + 1 = 9

1 + 2 = 3

2 + 1 = 3

3 + 3 + 6 = 12 (1 + 2 = 3)

3 + 0 + 2 + 4 = 9

The same thing happens if I add together the number values of each letter in my name.
[A=1, B=2, etc.]

Adding the number value of each letter in my full name
[Timothy James Eugene Payne] equals: 276.

2 + 7 + 6 = 15 [1 + 5 = 6]

When the values of the letters in each name are multiplied together and then the value of each name are added together, it comes to a total of: 140,697,600.

1 + 4 + 0 + 6 + 9 + 7 + 6 + 0 + 0 = 33 [3 + 3 = 6]

When the values of every letter are multiplied all the way through my entire name it comes to a grand total of: 12,489,569,820,000,000,000,000

1 + 2 + 4 + 8 + 9 + 5 + 6 + 9 + 8 + 2 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 = 54 [5 + 4 = 9]

Wow. Absolutely fascinating. Or maybe just weird.

Seems A Little Fishy

2011-03-23T03:30:00.000-05:00

I went out to check on something for a customer today and this is what he gave me before I left - six freshly caught bass still on the stringer.

I took the fish to the house as soon as I left his place and discovered that they were still alive! So, rather than killing and eating them, we decided to put them in a bucket of water and keep them alive.

I didn't think to take a picture of them on the stringer, but one of them in their private pool is the next best thing, I guess.

Weather Watching

2011-03-11T11:14:00.000-06:00

Jadon wanted to look at the beautiful weather.

You Have A Nice Day

2011-03-11T04:56:00.000-06:00

When did telling someone to have a nice day become so complicated?

Whenever someone says to me "You have a nice day" I always think they are giving me a compliment. I instinctively want to respond by saying "Thanks, your day is pretty nice too" or some such nonsense.

Then, to make matters worse, some people try to turn the goodbye into a contest. You tell them to have a nice day, so they say to you "Have a nice weekend!" Come on people - just say "you too" and be on your way.

The only solution I can think of is to tell them "Have a nice eternity" and quickly walk away. Surely there has to be a better way...any suggestions?

On a semi-related note, here's a video to brighten your day. It may not be exactly the same situation, but hey, it's a good excuse to watch a Brian Regan video.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euGLMWn0_ZY&w=480&h=390]

Meet Virgil

2011-03-05T02:00:00.000-06:00

This is Virgil...the latest addition to our family.

The Multitasking Dentist

2011-02-15T11:27:00.000-06:00

What the Hale kind of dentist office is this?

A New Way To Slide

2011-01-30T18:03:00.000-06:00

Jadon figuring out a better way to get down a slide.

Brave Saint Saturn

2010-11-26T01:00:00.000-06:00

Originally started as a side project by several members of Five Iron Frenzy, Brave Saint Saturn is one of the best bands that you may never have heard of. If that's the case, don't let ignorance deprive you any longer. Do yourself a favor and go check them out today.

Brave Saint Saturn, or BS2, was started as a way for several members of FIF to express a darker, more serious side than they were able to do through their music in FIF. For a good description of their music, look no further than their very own Facebook page:

The music of Brave Saint Saturn can be described as a more pensive and serious project with strong melodies and insightful lyrics, setting this group far apart from their jovial punk and ska origins. Originally designed as an outlet for the group member’s darker themed pieces, Brave Saint Saturn attempts to embody the struggles of loneliness and heartbreak in their music by metaphorically painting a portrait of four astronauts returning home after a botched mission into space. Musically, the group combines orchestral elements with rock music and synthesizers for a truly different sound.

They started off strong with their first album "So Far From Home", followed it up with one of my favorite albums of all time "The Light Of Things Hoped For", and finished the trilogy off strong with "Anti-Meridian". I would highly recommend picking up the entire trilogy, but if you are looking for just one album that with no weak songs to listen to repeatedly..."The Light Of Things Hoped For" is more than you could hope for.

Want to find out more about Brave Saint Saturn? Check them out today!

BS2 Website

Facebook

Twitter

The Rocket Summer

2010-11-25T05:53:00.000-06:00

If you're looking for some catchy, addictive, or just downright happy music, look no further than The Rocket Summer.

The Rocket Summer consists of Bryce Avary on vocals, Bryce Avary on guitar, Bryce Avary on drums, Bryce Avary on piano, and Bryce Avary on any other instrument found on the album. He does his thing, and he does it well. Lyrically, the songs range from fun to thought provoking and spiritual. The music is catchy and will often leave you tapping your feet.

Thinking about going for a drive? Pop in any of The Rocket Summer's albums and make your ride more enjoyable - especially if you're going to be stuck in traffic. The Rocket Summer will make the traffic more bearable and may just make you hope for a traffic jam.

Check out The Rocket Summer's website or follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

Or pick up The Rocket Summer's albums "Of Men And Angels", "Do You Feel?" and "Hello Good Friend" on iTunes or wherever you happen to purchase music.

Playdough

2010-11-24T01:00:00.000-06:00

Another artist from the über-talented Deepspace 5 crew, Playdough has been putting out quality music for the last decade or so as part of Ill Harmonics, Deepspace 5, Phonetic Composition, and Tunnel Rats; not to mention several solo albums, mix tapes, and a ton of guest appearances.

Whether contributing his skills to a group or going it alone, Playdough never disappoints. His delivery is top notch and lyrically he is one of the best. Playdough's rhymes are always fresh, clever, and clean. His music is proof that good hip-hop music does not have to be doused in profanity.

2010 has been a busy year for Playdough - he has released two free solo albums (Bible Bus Mixtape & Writer Dye) as well as contributing his talents to the latest Deepspace 5 album, The Future Ain't What It Used To Be. You would do yourself a favor to go download all three of them right now. All three are well worth the money you'll spend on them.

The Ill Harmonics, Deepspace 5, Phonetic Composition, and Tunnel Rats albums can be found at Sphere Of Hip-Hop and iTunes, among other places.

Playdough's solo albums can be found on his Bandcamp page, with 4 of them available as free downloads.

Showbread

2010-11-23T01:00:00.000-06:00

Showbread and their self-described "Raw Rock" sound have been around for a while now and if you haven't heard them yet, you are missing out. They are one of those bands whose sound changes with every new album and they do so again with their latest album "Who Can Know It?"...and once again, they do it fantastically.

By far the most mellow of their albums, "Who Can Know It?" has been described as a "Raw Rock" version of The Eagles and R.E.M. Musically, this album is terrific yet again, but the lyrics are where it really stands out. Addressing topics such as murder, abortion, rape, and patriotism, they don't shy away from difficult subjects. While some of these subjects may be sensitive, the message always points back to the grace and hope that is found in Christ.

As good as this album is musically and lyrically, perhaps the best part is the price. It was funded by the support of their fans through Kickstarter and is completely free. So pick it up today - it will cost you nothing and will be the best free album you download all day.

Sintax.The.Terrific

2010-11-22T01:00:00.000-06:00

Ever wonder what it would sound like to get your news delivered in hip-hop form? If so, you're in luck! That's exactly what everyone's favorite lawyer/rapper Sintax.The.Terrific is doing right now at his blog.

This Deepspace 5 crew member has set the goal of delivering two songs per week - beats created by various beatmakers, lyrics written by Sintax, and news made by the world.

The news has never sounded so good.

Click here to read about the project in the words of Sintax.

Click here to listen to past songs.

A Few Random Facts

2010-11-11T02:42:00.000-06:00

I have never eaten cottage cheese.
I'm sure I've had it baked into foods, but I have never eaten it by itself. I just can't get past the fact that it looks like someone just left milk sitting for way too long and then decided to eat it or what I imagine it would feel like in my mouth. It's just not worth it to me.

I have never eaten beets.
Although I came close a few years ago when I was really into the show "Doug", this is another food that I just can't seem to force myself to try. Part of it is the look of them and what I imagine the texture to be, just like with cottage cheese. The other part is that I imagine that before and after consumption, my mouth would feel and look as if I had just bitten into a heart. That's just yucky.

I am the most static-y person I know.
Seriously. Every time I get out of the car I get a huge jolt. Not to mention all the times I walk around the house. Kissing my wife should not be that painful an experience - after a quick peck the other night, my lips were tingling for several minutes (although that could just be because our love is so electric...). And don't even get me started on my clothes. It seems like no matter how many dryer sheets I use, my clothes are always full of static. Any suggestions on how to fix this?

I have never been able to make myself burp.
I just can't do it. I've tried and tried, but with no success. I don't know if it's because I have a burpy personality or because it's just assumed that everyone can do this, but for some reason no one ever believes me when I tell them that I can't make myself burp. I've even had people try to explain it step-by-step, but it's just not happening.

Now you know. Whether you really wanted to know these things is a different story entirely, but now you know.

Dangerous Toys (Part 2)

2010-11-05T02:00:00.000-05:00

Ready for more dangerous toys? Most of these seem like innocent fun, but as we saw before, they are sneaky dangerous. Here are a few more...

KITES

The picture above shows just one of the dangers of this seemingly innocent toy. Obviously, you want to keep kites away from power lines and refrain from flying them in lightning storms (thank you Ben Franklin!), but those are just the most obvious dangers. I have never actually heard of this happening, but what I am most paranoid about is the kite string getting wrapped around someone's neck and choking or decapitating them. Throw in the chance of being hoisted up into the air by a strong gust of wind and the kite nosediving into your eye and this is one toy that has the potential to destroy many lives.

SIT 'N SPIN

While I'm sure we can all agree that it's hilarious to get people all dizzied up and watch them stumble about, it seems as though this toy should include at least a helmet and at most full-body armor. This seems like it would be better suited as a party game for adults than a toy for small children. Kids dizzily stumbling around is bad enough, but that is only dangerous for those who are lucky enough to hold on until the spinner stops spinning. If your child has sweaty palms or a weak grip I would suggest not letting him anywhere near this toy unless you want to look up and see your child flying helplessly across the room.

SLIP 'N SLIDE

Hey, I know! Let's get a long piece of plastic, set it on a downward slope, slick it up, give kids a running start at it, and put a small puddle at the end of the slide to catch them. That sounds like a fantastic idea! I cannot possibly imagine this ever turning out poorly. In fact, the steeper the hill you let them slide down, the better! That three inch deep puddle of water at the end will gently stop anybody flying down the slide. Yeah...

PAPER FOOTBALL

The majority of this game is quite harmless. The only danger in sliding a triangular piece of paper back and forth across the table is the freakishly rare papercut. Really though, that's just bad luck more than it is dangerous. I enjoy a good game of paper football as much as the next guy (if the next guy LOVES paper football!), but there is one part of the game that just seems moronic. That part would, of course, be kicking field goals and extra points. In this part of the game, you basically have two options. The first option is to place your finger uprights directly in front of you, so that you can use your body to block the football and keep it from getting away. The problem with this is fairly obvious - if your opponent successfully converts the kick, you are almost guaranteed to get hit in the face or neck and possibly lose an eye or nostril. The second option is to place the finger uprights off to the side of your body. The biggest problem with this is that if there is someone sitting behind you, you can bet that football is going to either land in their food/drinks or it's going to hit them in the head and cause them to want to beat the tar out of you. Pick your poison.

POGS

So I realize that these were only popular for a few months sometime in the early/mid 1990's, but I was really into them at the time. I actually still have mine if you are ever in the neighborhood and pining to pog it up. On the surface the game seems harmless enough. That is until you consider that the game consists of stacking up little pieces of cardboard and giving kids a solid metal disc to throw onto/at the stack of cardboard in order to flip over as many pogs as possible. I'm sure that no adolescent boy would ever realize just how perfectly that solid metal disc fits in his fingers, giving him the perfect projectile to throw as hard and fast as possible.

That's all the dangerous toys for now, but stay tuned for more in the near future. In the meantime, try not to fall victim to the sneaky danger of any of the toys listed here or here.

Dangerous Toys (Part 1)

2010-11-04T02:00:00.000-05:00

Have you ever noticed how dangerous some of the toys we grew up playing with really are? Sure, there are some that are gentle, plush, and cuddly, but for every one of those there seems to also be one that is sneaky dangerous. By "sneaky dangerous" I mean that at first glance the toy seems safe and harmless, but if you look close and give it any thought at all, you realize that it's just an accident waiting to happen. What toys qualify as "sneaky dangerous"? I'm glad you asked!

ETCH-A-SKETCH

I've said it before, but felt it was worth mentioning again. As uncoordinated as most children are, who thought this would be a good idea? First you make them feel bad because they can't draw anything other than snakes, worms, and the letter 'L'. Then you make them shake the Etch-A-Sketch violently in order to erase what they just created and so proudly showed off to everyone who would look. If I had to guess, I would say that this toy is responsible for more self-inflicted black eyes, busted teeth and lips, and bloody noses than nearly any other drawing toy out there. For a safer alternative, stick with the MagnaDoodle.

JACKS

I'm not sure who came up with this game, but something about it just doesn't seem safe. "Sure kids, bounce that little rubber ball and see how many of these little spiky metal things you can pick up before the ball lands." I'm convinced that whoever came up with this idea was just trying to find something that would keep their kids occupied. It just seems like one of those homemade games where you grab a couple random objects that you have laying around the house and see what kind of a game you can come up with.

MARBLES

Another one of those games, like Jacks, that was likely invented by a parent somewhere that just wanted some peace and quiet. How else do you explain giving young kids a bunch of nostril sized pieces of glass? Not to mention the fact that a lot of kids are not coordinated enough to balance an oversize marble on their index finger and flick it with their thumb without it flying across the room and either breaking something or cracking someone in the skull.

YO-YO

One thing that the yo-yo has going for it that Jacks and Marbles don't is that it's on a string and is less likely to end up as a dangerous projectile - until the string unrolls and the little boy playing with it realizes that the faster he swings it around, the farther and faster it will fly. Not that I would have ever done anything like that.

PADDLE BALL

Another stringed toy - this one is guaranteed to put out the eye of either the person playing with it or any person who comes within a three foot radius. Who this toy is most dangerous for depends on whether the paddler is using the overhand or underhand technique. Of course if the paddler is like me, he will eventually get frustrated with the fact that he can't keep it going and just rip the ball off the paddle and see how high he can hit it. Or the string gets tangled up four minutes into it, rendering the toy useless.

Stay tuned - more dangerous toys still to come...

Strange Toys

2010-11-02T02:07:00.000-05:00

Just a few pictures of some strange toys I've seen lately...

Does anything about this toy seem strange? Perhaps the fact that Goliath is one of the characters in a series labeled "Almighty Heroes"? I guess the way that I've always heard and read the story was wrong. Apparently Goliath was the hero of the story. Maybe the strangest part of this is that David is not included in this line of toys. Among those who did make the cut along with Goliath...the lions that didn't eat Daniel, Samson, and the "whale" that swallowed Jonah. Yup, that makes perfect sense.

If you haven't had any awkward conversations with your children lately, I would suggest picking up this fine piece from your local Target store. As if the horse feeding isn't strange enough, then they went and put the dog in there for some reason. It's like when you are stuck in a small area and realize that someone is breastfeeding just a few feet away. Suddenly you look for anything else to focus on and when you finally find something, there is nothing that will break your focus. Those interactive Dinosaur Train toys across the aisle just became the most amazing thing that dog has ever seen.

I present to you the Football Kicker Licker. This toy from the Dollar Tree isn't all that strange. The name, however, could use some work. I'm thinking they assigned the naming of this one to the new guy who was just happy to come up with a catchy, rhyming name. Someone didn't really think this one through.

These are some of the weird toys that I have come across lately. I'm sure that with Christmas right around the corner, there will be plenty more to choose from.

What am I missing? What toys have you seen that are strangely named or just plain weird?

Maple Leaf Parade (2010 Edition)

2010-10-29T02:00:00.000-05:00

A couple weekends ago we went to the annual Maple Leaf Parade in Carthage, MO. It's a fairly big deal in our neck of the woods and we have gone every year for as long as I can remember. The parade is always good, but at this point it's just as much about the tradition and getting to see family and friends as it is about the parade. The parade was good again this year, but I decided to focus more on the oddities this time around. Here is my 2010 Maple Leaf Parade experience:

The horses typically come last, for obvious reasons, but this time someone decided it would be a good idea to have them lead things off this year. If the reason for having them go last isn't obvious to you...it's so the rest of the people in the parade don't have to worry about getting equine excrement on their shoes. Now on to some fantastic photos...

I'm not quite sure what a Schweich is, but for some reason my son Jadon really likes it. I think Schweich is a politician of some sort because there were several politicians passing out advertisements and stickers. Why is it that politicians feel the need to pass out their stickers to kids. If you you really want me to make the effort to get out and vote for you, it is going to take a whole lot more than just a lame sticker. For what it's worth though, if that sticker is durable enough to last fourteen years or so, I'm sure you'll have his vote.

I realize that the cymbals are necessary for a band, but how horrible would it be to be the guy in front of the cymbal guy? Stick the cymbal smasher behind someone who is even the least bit jumpy and it could be disastrous...or really entertaining.

I especially liked this year's parade because I became a millionaire. Or at least I thought I became a millionaire. ? I was up to four million dollars before I realized that I had something on my hands that was worth so much more than a lousy million dollars. I had the key to salvation. How could I have gone nearly thirty years without realizing how much Harry Truman cared about my soul? When it comes down to it, would you rather have four million lousy dollars (and hundreds more bills ready to be picked up off the street) or have your soul be saved many times over? Choose wisely my friend...choose wisely.

This was the float from one of the churches in Carthage. You've gotta love it when churches and patriotism collide. March on, ye soldiers who may possibly be Christians.

This is one sweet boom box...although I'm not sure it's one I'd want to carry on my shoulder.

I'm sure the intentions are good, but does this not seem just a tad creepy? Something about bright red wings coming out of a skull and calling yourselves "Keepers Of the Children" just seems a little strange. It's a bit disconcerting that they fail to clarify just which children they are keeping and how they came to be in possession of said children. Again, they may be good, well-intentioned people that are truly caring for children, but maybe they should rethink their name and logo.

I just had to include this picture because it's always one of my favorite parts of the parade. It's a car that rides down the street doing a wheelie...of course it's awesome.

Now this is a horse I would be willing to ride. I've always said that if my feet don't touch the ground while I am sitting on the horse, the horse is too tall. Actually, I think I said that for the first time when I saw these horses at the parade. So I guess I've only been saying it for a couple weeks. But if I was a two week old child, I could legitimately say that I've always said that. But I'm not. So I can't. These horses are awesome.

If you are ever in southwest Missouri on the third Saturday in October, be sure to stop by Carthage and take in the Maple Leaf Parade. Who knows, you may walk away with a million dollars, eternal life, or a sweet sticker from someone who wants your vote. What more could a person want?

Billboards, Elevators, Brown Paper Bags, and Heartless Fools

2010-10-27T03:00:00.000-05:00

1. If your picture was on a billboard, would you look at it every time you drive past it? Or would you look away every time you drive past? What is the proper amount of time to look at yourself on a billboard? What does it say about you if you stare at yourself on a billboard for more than five seconds? Or is the amount of acceptable viewing time based on a sliding scale? Maybe as long as the time you spend looking at it gets shorter each time, you are okay. Or maybe you should just keep your eyes on the road the next time you are on a billboard.

2. Are the brown paper bags really fooling anybody anymore? I think at this point, if you see someone walking down the street drinking from a small paper sack, it's fairly obvious what's in the bag. In fact, it would probably be more inconspicuous to carry it without the sack.

3. How do the up and down elevators never run into each other in the elevator shaft? You would think that at some point, someone on a bottom floor would push the button for the up elevator at the same time someone on a top floor would push the button for the down elevator. Either all the elevator riders have gotten very lucky or the elevator is a marvelous machine. An up elevator and a down elevator in the same shaft with no recorded collisions? Incredible.

4. Why is it that some people seem to go out of their way to run over objects in the road that have obviously been accidentally dropped by someone else? Just the other day I saw several pieces of tupperware in the road that someone had dropped. Most of the people went around or straddled it with their car. Most, not all. There were a couple of cars who decided that it would be a good idea to flatten it. Is it bad that when I see someone about to intentionally run over something, I start hoping that what they are about to run over is really just cleverly designed spike strips designed to catch those heartless fools?

Bad + Bad + Bad = Good?

2010-10-25T03:00:00.000-05:00

Lately it seems like I am constantly hearing of someone going through a difficult time. For whatever reason, painful times come in bunches. Whether it be physical, emotional, or financial pain or stressful situations, it seems like it's never just one thing. Most of the time when I hear of many people going through tough times at once, I start to wonder why there is so much pain and suffering, especially among Christians.

I'm sure that at some point, nearly everyone has asked why bad things happen to good people. Maybe that's the wrong question. Instead of wondering why so many people are suffering at a given time, perhaps we should look at all the negative situations as a positive thing.

As weird as this equation seems: Negative + Negative + Negative + Negative + Negative = Positive... maybe it's exactly right. It may seem strange by our own standards, but in God's economy it makes perfect sense. The last shall be first; if you want to be great, you must be a servant; you have to die to live...hurt, pain, and suffering brings hope, healing, and growth. Instead of getting depressed when we see and hear of all the people who are hurting, we should focus on the good that can come from it.

Maybe the reason that we see so many people around us suffering at the same time is so that they don't have to go through it alone. When a person suffers alone, it is overwhelming, discouraging, and can make them want to give up; when several people suffer together, there is amazing potential for healing and hope. I suppose that's why community is so important. When you do life with other people and know that you are going to be there for each other in times of need, it makes going through hurt and pain more bearable. Not easy, but bearable.

So please, if you are hurting and you know someone else that is hurting, don't go through it alone. Even if what each of you are going through is different, there is comfort in knowing that you are not alone in what you are feeling. The circumstances may be different, but the emotions are the same. Reach out to them and let them know that they are not alone. Be sad together. Be hurt together. Be angry together. Be broken together. Most importantly...be together.

On the album "Hope Rising" by Fee, there are two songs that especially relevant for someone going through a tough situation - the first is called "Everything Falls" and the second is "Arms That Hold The Universe". I've been listening to this album a lot lately and felt like these two songs would be good to share with my friends and family who are hurting right now.

Drying Your Hands Should Not Be This Difficult

2010-10-15T02:55:00.000-05:00

For some reason, a roll of paper towels on a horizontal rack is one of the most frustrating things that I repeatedly encounter in the bathroom. Is there anything more frustrating that standing there with soaking wet hands, pawing and clawing at a cheap roll of thin paper towels? It's hard enough to find the loose end of a half-used roll, but the most frustrating has to be realizing halfway through the search that it's a new roll. Not only do you have to find the end, but then you have to attempt to pry the little flap free from the roll without ripping the towel to shreds in the process.

As frustrating as trying to free the towel is, the biggest challenge for me is to try to get the towel off without leaving little soggy fingerprints all over the roll. If the fingerprints stayed only on the top towel it wouldn't be so bad, but they inevitably soak through and contaminate at least 3.2 paper towels. Then I feel obligated to rip off all the towels with the soggyprints so that the person using the roll after me doesn't get grossed out or think I'm some kind of a weird, super soggy handed individual. The problem with taking all the soggyprinted towels is that by the time I finally get them off the roll, I don't really need them anymore because the water that didn't drip off my hands onto the roll has already finished air drying.

So basically, every time I use a horizontal roll of paper towels, I just waste 2-4 paper towels per visit. Although, when you add in the times that I try to do the quick, one-handed towel rip that inevitably ends up just spinning the roll round and round until I manage to get it stopped. Rather than try to roll it back up and attempt to make it look normal, I normally just rip them all off, wad them up into a little basketball, and try to make a basket with it. Or throw a touchdown pass to the trash can. Or throw a guy out at home plate. It really just depends on what season it is. That's completely normal, right? Oh, it's not? Yeah, I was just kidding then.

Speaking of the random soggy fingerprints...is there a name for those? If not, what should it be? I think someone should come up with a name for them because "random soggy fingerprints" just seems way too long and cumbersome. Come up with a name for them and I will send you a paper towel custom made with some of my random soggy fingerprints. If that's not enough to get you motivated...then you're probably fairly normal.

Code…Yellow?

2010-10-06T03:15:00.000-05:00

I was recently at a nursing home, waiting for the nurse to check on something, and was looking for something to keep me busy while I waited. So I began reading the signs on the wall. Mostly normal stuff...until I got to the list of codes that they use in case of emergency.

Most of the codes were normal...Code Red is what they announce in case of a fire...stuff like that. Then I came across one that I had never seen before. This particular nursing home apparently feels the need to announce "Code Yellow" in the event of...NUCLEAR ATTACK!

Maybe it's just me, but does that not seem like the most useless code ever? Especially considering where it was posted. No offense to the octogenarians out there, but I'm pretty sure that if there is ever a nuclear attack, someone yelling "Code Yellow" over the P.A. system is not going to make them move any quicker or survive any longer.

The other problem I see with this is the color of the code. It seems to be that if there is ever a nuclear attack, the more appropriate code would be Code Brown (for obvious reasons)...or perhaps, "Code Oh Sh** It's A Nuclear Attack!"

What really amazes me is that they actually have a code for a nuclear attack at a nursing home. Is this something they practice and prepare for often? What is standard procedure for protecting oneself during a nuclear attack? Do they issue each resident a gas mask and some sort of body armor? Or do they just tell them to hunker down and hope for the best? I'm guessing it's not stop, drop, and roll - although that could make for quite the entertaining final few minutes.

Seriously though, is there a more useless code than a code for nuclear attack? And at that point, do you really need to announce that you have been attacked nuclearly in code form? For that matter, why do people feel the need to announce most things in code? Fires, floods, spills, lost kids...are these things that really need to be kept secret? How cool would it be to have all the codes memorized at every place you go, just so that when you hear a code announced over the P.A. system, you could just shout out what that code means so that everyone can know what's going on?

What other weird codes have you heard? Are there any situations that you think could benefit from being coded that don't already have a code?

A Few Random Thoughts

2010-10-05T03:00:00.000-05:00

Is there anything harder to sauce at Taco Bell than a Crunchwrap Supreme? It's nearly impossible to peel a well-made Crunchwrap Supreme apart, spread the sauce evenly inside, and then wrap it back up in a way that will keep it from falling apart as you eat it.

I think I might start carrying everything around on my shoulder. Big or small...light or heavy...it just looks more impressive when you see someone carrying something on their shoulder. Or it looks like they are carrying a boom box. Either way...impressive.

Who determines what is an acceptable way to shorten a name (Timothy = Tim, Matthew = Matt, etc.)? How in the world did Peggy ever become the shortened form of Margaret? I've know several people named Peggy (mostly women) and have always wondered, but never asked. I can see Marge or even Maggie, but Peggy? Really?

I wish AT&T would spend more money on improving their network, customer service, or basically any other part of their company rather than waste money by sending me offers for a free crappy phone if I activate a new account. I've been with them for close to ten years. Maybe they should try sending me special offers out of appreciation for all the money I've already paid them and for sticking with them even though the network and service are significantly less than fantastic.

Juicy Fruit gum is now yellow. I had no idea. I just opened a piece of Juicy Fruit the other day for the first time in several years and it blew me away! When did this happen? I don't know that it made it taste any better or last any longer, but it sure made for a much more attractive chewing stick. Definitely an improvement over the bland, tan, cardboard looking stick of yore.

A Battery Ribbon Epiphinization

2010-09-16T03:00:00.000-05:00

I think I had an epiphany yesterday. If an epiphany is the sudden realization that up until this point, I have been completely clueless as to how something works, then yeah, I totally epiphanized.

You know those little ribbons that they sometimes put in the battery compartments of electronics and such? They are apparently so complicated that it took me 29 years to realize that they aren't some annoying, worthless little piece of fabric that was put there to attempt to do a job that is impossible for them to do.

Up until yesterday afternoon, I thought that you were supposed to put that ribbon over top of the batteries, in hopes that it would keep them from falling out of the compartment. It never seemed like it would be too effective, but I thought maybe it was put there to give those people who worry about their batteries falling out a false sense of security. Most of the time the ribbon just lays right over top of the batteries and the end will slide down into the space beside the batteries, giving the illusion that the batteries are safe, secure, and going nowhere. On some occasions, however, no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get the ribbon to lay flat across the batteries and would just have to stuff it in the best I could.

Then yesterday happens. I had just put four AA batteries in a device and was needing to take them back out. I was mumbling something to myself about how pointless the ribbon in the battery compartment was since it was already nearly impossible to take the batteries out. Then it hit me. If I stick the ribbon underneath the batteries, I can just pull up on the end of the ribbon and all four batteries will lift right out.

I decided to share my epiphinization with some coworkers, thinking that maybe they would like to know the secret ribbon trick I had just figured out. Apparently it's common knowledge. Unless you are me, which I'm guessing you're not. So the highlight of my day yesterday involved the changing of my opinion of a 2 inch long ribbon. It went from being pointless and annoying to handy and wishing that it was included in every battery powered device.

It's an exciting life I lead.

The Mystery Of The Bellybutton

2010-09-13T02:30:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you've heard it asked a thousand times before - especially if you've ever been in or around a youth group at church. It's one of the great mysteries in life...one of those questions that we may never have a definite answer to until we meet our Creator. But if you know the answer, please let me know. The question I'm referring to is this...

"DID ADAM AND EVE HAVE BELLYBUTTONS?"

I just blew your mind, didn't I? It's something that I've always wondered and now you can always wonder too. I've never found a definite answer either way, but here is what I do know:

1. Adam and Eve were created by God as fully formed humans.
2. Bellybuttons come from the umbilical cord being cut.

Here is what I would like to know:

1. Since they were created by God instead of being born, did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
2. If Adam and Eve did, in fact, have bellybuttons...
A. What purpose did they serve?
B. What caused them? Did they bungee down from God by their umbilical cord, which was then cut by God? Or was it where God poked them to see if they were done?
3. If Adam and Eve had bellybuttons, does that mean that God has a bellybutton since man was made in His likeness?
4. Did God just give us bellybuttons so that we would wonder what the point of them is and ask all kinds of weird questions about our bellybuttons?
5. Do you feel like you just wasted a couple minutes of your life that you can never get back?

Are there any other questions that you'd like to ask God about bellybuttons? Do you have any (or all) of the answers already?

One Crazy Weekend

2010-08-26T18:29:00.000-05:00

Well, that was interesting. Here's a recap of our moving experience for anyone who cares...

It took a little longer than we thought, but we finally got all our stuff from Loveland, CO to Lebanon, MO. All except for my family that is. Daphne and Jadon will be staying out there for another week, so that they can spend some time with Daphne's parents and have a mini-vacation before they come home. As for all of our material possessions, those are all here in Lebanon. Finally.

The move started out smoothly enough. I headed out from Loveland on Thursday around 7:30 a.m. Mountain time and got to Lebanon around 1:30 a.m. Central time. Needless to say, I took my time and enjoyed the trip. Everything went smoothly, I got to stop and see my mom along the way, and really had a pretty enjoyable trip.

On Friday morning, my dad, Heather, and I got up and left to head right back out to Loveland to pack up our stuff and bring it back to Lebanon. We didn't quite make it all the way to Loveland in one day, so we ended up sleeping in Limon, CO on Friday night. It was a fairly uneventful day other than a couple of unexpected pit stops - one of which may or may not have resulted in me knocking on the door of some random person's farmhouse somewhere in the middle of Kansas. They didn't answer. Miraculously, we were able to make it back to a rest stop we had passed a couple miles back without me needing a change of shorts.

Saturday was definitely our most productive day. We got up Saturday morning, made the two hour trip from Limon to Loveland, loaded up all our stuff in the U-Haul, and headed back. We ended up driving from Loveland to Salina, KS before stopping to sleep. This would be the part where we started having some issues. By issues, I mean there was no working A/C in the U-Haul for most of the day. It worked off and on when we left Loveland, but completely gave out somewhere in eastern Colorado. That's fine though, it's not like it was in the mid to high 90's most of the day. What's that? It was in the mid to high 90's? Oh yeah...it was. But who's counting?

When we got up Sunday morning, we were looking forward to finishing up and being home. We had great intentions. We were going to drive the rest of the way home, unload everything into a storage unit, and be done with it. So we headed out and were making great time...or at least as well as could be expected. The A/C still didn't work and it was hot again, but dad and Heather were troopers and had a great attitude about it. So, we are motoring along, going good...until we got near Sedalia, MO.

About 15 miles before Sedalia, the U-Haul truck decided it didn't want to run anymore. The belt on the A/C doohickey snapped. At least I think it was the doohickey...it may have be the A/C thingamajig. Whatever it was, the fact that it broke meant that we couldn't go any farther. So we pulled off onto the 8 foot wide shoulder of I-70 and called the U-Haul roadside assistance people. Then we waited. Then a mechanic showed up and told us that there was nothing he could do and that the truck was going to have to be towed. So he called a tow truck for us. Then we waited. Then the big, huge, awesome tow truck came and hauled our gimpy U-Haul truck away. I kid you not - that tow truck was the size of a fire truck and moved nearly too fast for the Camry to keep up. Very impressive.

After the big, awesome tow truck did it's thing, we drove back to Lebanon and waited in eager anticipation for a call from the shop informing us that we could come retrieve it. Okay, so maybe we weren't waiting too eagerly, considering the fact that the truck being done meant that we had to unload it, but we did wait. A couple days later, the call came and we went to pick up the truck the next day. We walked into the shop, told them we were there for the U-Haul, and were told that the keys were in it and it was ready to go. Really, that's all it took. No showing idea or any sort of proof that the truck was ours. They must have gone through it and realized that there wasn't much in there worth stealing and that if we were there to claim it, it must really be ours. Or we're just back in Missouri where people tend to trust each other. It's good to be home.

So we picked up the truck, took it back to Lebanon and unload all our junk into a storage unit where it resides to this day. Now I'm halfway hoping that a tornado comes along and blows it all away so that we never have to move it all again. A person can dream, right?

*Here's a picture of the broke down U-Haul. This seems safe, right? It stayed there for two hours until the tow truck dragged it away*

Well That Didn't Take Long (An Update)

2010-08-18T20:17:00.000-05:00

You may have heard that a couple months ago Daphne, Jadon, and I decided to move from Joplin, MO to Loveland, CO. There was a lot that went into that decision and we felt at the time like it was what we were supposed to do. If nothing else, we thought, it will give us an opportunity to get out of our comfort zone and experience life in a different place for a while. So we packed up everything and moved to Colorado.

Over the last couple months, we've had a lot of good experiences. Going up into the mountains, watching wild elk walk around the yard, seeing prairie dogs every time we drive past the field down the road, and experiencing life in a different place and a much different culture than we are used to. For all the good things that Colorado has to offer, and there are plenty of good things, we just don't feel like this is a place where we fit. At this point, it's not a place we can ever imagine feeling like home. That's not to bash Colorado or say that it's not a good place to live. It's just not a good place for us. I could go into all the details and reasons and blah, blah, blah, but I don't want to bore you or turn this into a Colorado bashing session. The best way I can think to put it is that, for us, Colorado is a great place to vacation, but not a good place to live.

So we're moving again. This time to Lebanon, MO. Daphne and I both used to live there, we've always liked it, and I have family there. Plus, it's where I found a job. I'll basically be doing the same thing I was doing in Joplin, but for a different company. I realize that it doesn't sound nearly as glamorous to say that we are moving to Lebanon, MO as it does to say that we are moving to Loveland, CO, but we think that this will be a much better situation for our family.

I will be driving back to Lebanon all day today (Thursday) with a carload of stuff, then will turn around and leave Friday afternoon to head back to Loveland with my dad and step-mom. We will be loading up all our stuff in a U-Haul truck on Saturday and then heading back to Lebanon either on Saturday after we get it all loaded or on Sunday morning. Daphne and Jadon, however, will be staying a couple extra weeks so that Daphne can finish out her time at her job and then have a week to just hang out with her parents before heading back. They will fly into KC on the 4th of September and I will pick them up from the airport once they arrive.

I've always enjoyed taking long drives, so I am actually looking forward to all the driving. I realize that making a 13-14 hour drive 3 times in 4 days isn't most people's idea of fun, but if nothing else it should be interesting.

It's almost 1 a.m., which means I am leaving in (hopefully) 6 hours or so (as long as I actually wake up when I want to) and I haven't decided which way I will be going. I can either drive to Joplin, then up I-44 to Lebanon, or go through KC and take some other roads. I think going through KC may actually be a bit quicker, but at this point I'm leaning more toward the Joplin route. I figure that since I know it better and know more people along the way, that would be a better way to go. I'm pretty sure that I can make it all the way to Lebanon, but if you live along that route and I get too tired of driving tomorrow, you may be getting a call.

So there you have it. It didn't take us long to figure out that Colorado isn't the place for us. We really don't see it as giving up, but as knowing when to walk away from something that's not going to work. There's no reason to force something that's not there and we might as well get out before we get stuck and don't have a choice. We don't regret anything that we've done, but we are pumped to get back home. I think one of the hardest parts of the move back is that we are going to be so close to all our friends and family in Joplin, but knowing that it's just far enough away (about 2 hours) that we won't get to see you all nearly as much as we'd like. We will definitely head down that way to visit though.

So there you have it. We're on the move again. We're starting to feel like gypsies, but this should be the last move for a while. At least now you know that if you are ever in or passing through Lebanon, you'll always have a reason to stop, friends to visit, and a place to stay. Hope to see you soon!

Write It Down (A Top 5 List)

2010-08-16T11:39:00.000-05:00

I love a good pen. I don't know why, but for as long as I can remember, I have always been on the lookout for good pens. It can be hard to find a pen that has good ink, doesn't skip or cut, doesn't smear and fits comfortably in my hand. It's easy to find one or two of those qualities in a pen, but finding them all in one place is rare. Here is a list of my Top 5 favorite pens:

1. Pilot VBall RT (Extra Fine)
My favorite pen of all time. Has everything I look for in a pen. My only complaint is that it's impossible to find a pack of blue ones in stores.

2. Uniball Signo 207 (Micro)
Another very nice writing pen - good ink flow, doesn't smear, and easy to find in stores. I prefer to use the Micro refills in the 207 Premier due to the fact that it's light, nicer looking, and has a super comfortable grip.

3. Pilot Precise V5 RT (Extra Fine)
This pen writes beautifully and smoothly, is sharp looking, and doesn't smear easily. The only drawback is that it's a needle-tip, which can sometimes bend if you're not careful.

4. Pilot G2 (Extra Fine)
A classic gel pen - it seems to be the go-to gel pen for most people. Easy to find, you can easily keep track of the ink supply, writes very well, and comes in several tip sizes.

5. Sharpie Retractable (Fine)
Just started using this one recently. Writes nice and smooth, doesn't smear, and is light and comfortable in my hand. The tip is a little different - sort of like an extra fine Sharpie marker, which takes some getting used to and the blue is kind of a weird color, but overall a pretty good pen.

These are my current Top 5 pens - did I leave any out? Which pens do you use? Which pens do I need to try?

If you want to read some reviews of pens before you try them, check out The Pen Addict to get a ton of helpful information.

100th Post Extravaganza!

2010-08-12T05:11:00.000-05:00

Being that this is my 100th post, I wanted to do something super special. Instead, I am going to make a Top 100 list.

So here you go - a list of my Top 100 favorite whole numbers between 1 & 100. But since I don't feel like ranking them in order of favorite to least favorite, I will just rank them from largest to smallest. Drumroll please...

1. 100
2. 99
3. 98
4. 97
5. 96
6. 95
7. 94
8. 93
9. 92
10. 91
11. 90
12. 89
13. 88
14. 87
15. 86
16. 85
17. 84
18. 83
19. 82
20. 81
21. 80
22. 79
23. 78
24. 77
25. 76
26. 75
27. 74
28. 73
29. 72
30. 71
31. 70
32. 69
33. 68
34. 67
35. 66
36. 65
37. 64
38. 63
39. 62
40. 61
41. 60
42. 59
43. 58
44. 57
45. 56
46. 55
47. 54
48. 53
49. 52
50. 51
51. 50
52. 49
53. 48
54. 47
55. 46
56. 45
57. 44
58. 43
59. 42
60. 41
61. 40
62. 39
63. 38
64. 37
65. 36
66. 35
67. 34
68. 33
69. 32
70. 31
71. 30
72. 29
73. 28
74. 27
75. 26
76. 25
77. 24
78. 23
79. 22
80. 21
81. 20
82. 19
83. 18
84. 17
85. 16
86. 15
87. 14
88. 13
89. 12
90. 11
91. 10
92. 9
93. 8
94. 7
95. 6
96. 5
97. 4
98. 3
99. 2
100. 1

It's An Acquired Taste

2010-08-11T01:45:00.000-05:00

"Oh, you don't like it? That's okay - it's an acquired taste."

Statements like this one have always made me wonder - if something is an "acquired taste," why would I want to acquire a taste for something I don't like?

I've never heard anyone say that something is an acquired taste after hearing that someone really liked the taste of something. It's always said after someone has tried something that they didn't care for. For the life of me, I can't figure out why anyone would keep eating or drinking something that they don't like in hopes that maybe someday they will start liking it.

It seems like most of the time this is said about things like coffee, beer, and certain foods. Maybe they just want to be cool and like these things because it's trendy and what all the cool kids like. Let's face it - if you don't like coffee or beer these days, there's no way you're sitting at the cool table.

I don't mean to pick on coffee and beer drinkers, those were just the first couple things that came to mind. If you really like that stuff, more power to you. I just couldn't think of any other specific examples off the top of my head. Are there any other foods or drinks that you can think of that a person would have to acquire a taste for?

Top 11 x 2 (But Not Top 22)

2010-08-06T01:15:00.000-05:00

I'll be back with some new stuff next week, but for now here are a couple of Top 11 lists of posts from this blog that I like and that other people have seemed to enjoy. Feel free to pass this along to other people that haven't read it, but that you think might enjoy it. Also, feel free to leave your input on which posts you have enjoyed and which ones you thought were complete wastes of time.

Why Top 11 instead of Top 10? I don't really know. Let's say it's because everyone always does Top 10 lists, so a Top 11 list will be slightly different. Or maybe because it's more of a slimming number. Or because it's like having two #1s, which has to be better than a 1 and a 0, right?

Why two lists? Let's say that it's because when I made the changes to this place, I divided up the posts into Photos and Writings so that you could find old posts a little easier if you care to. That's a good reason, right? Onto the lists, which aren't really in any order other than chronological order. Oh, I guess that is some kind of order after all. Anyway...

TOP 11 LIST #1 (Writings)
1. Did Humans Always Have Skin?
2. You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (And Blew Them All Away)
3. Lost In Space...
4. Well This Is Awkward...
5. Sledding: A Year Round Activity
6. How To Open (Or Not Open) A Door
7. What We Can Learn From Turtles
8. What Did You Expect?
9. You Hold Me Now
10. How Patriotic Should Christians Be?
11. Possibilities & Potential

TOP 11 LIST #2 (Photos)
1. The Bobcat
2. King Of Burgers...Not Of English
3. I Found Jesus In The Bathroom At Work
4. Wait...what?
5. One Bad Dude
6. Daycare & Drinks
7. Quite The Combination
8. A New Kind Of Math
9. Please Be Patient & Kind
10. Flea Market Fun (Part 1)
11. Are These Signs Really Necessary?

One Magic Towel

2010-08-05T06:06:00.000-05:00

I could have bought the whole solar system, but decided to buy just one planet. This product has all kinds of potential jokes just oozing from it, but I'll defer to semi-maturity on this one. Just another quality product from the local Dollar Tree. As amazing as this thing is, I still think it would have been better if it actually grew into the planet Uranus when you place it in warm water. Who wouldn't like to have their own personal planet right there in their house?

Bike Lane? What Bike Lane?

2010-08-04T11:50:00.000-05:00

(Click Photo For Full Size)

It seems like there are cyclists everywhere you go around here. So many, in fact, that there are bike lanes on nearly every road. The only problem with that is the fact that a lot of the cyclists don't care to use their lanes. So if the cyclists are going to use the car lanes instead of the bike lanes, does that mean the cars can use the bike lanes instead of the car lanes?

Birthday Spankings?

2010-08-02T06:04:00.000-05:00

Jadon is turning 4 years old today. Seriously. 4. It's hard to believe it's already been 4 years since he made the escape. He doesn't seem a day older than 3 years and 364 days. It's an exciting day with all kind of fun and traditions, but one tradition I've never understood is that of birthday spankings.

What exactly is the point of spanking someone on his birthday? Where did that weird little ritual begin? On one of the happiest days of a child's year, we choose to perform an act that, on every other day of the year, is used as a form of punishment. What a weird, mixed message. Are birthday spankings actually supposed to convince the person having a birthday to stop getting older? Has it ever worked? It's like we get more frustrated with their aging every year, so every year we add on another spanking. You could make a killing if you could figure out a way to administer birthday spankings in such a way that it would actually convince a person to stop aging.

At what point should birthday spankings cease? Don't you eventually have to admit that it's a lost cause and realize that no amount of spankings are going to keep someone from getting older? I don't know about you, but I don't want to be giving birthday spankings to 93 year old people - partly because I'd probably be sore the next day (some form of tennis/spanking elbow) and partly because that's just weird.

Just Add Water

2010-07-30T09:35:00.000-05:00

Found this amazing toy at Dollar Tree...steak, seafood, and growing whales - they have it all! Gotta love the instructions on this thing. Anything that instructs "Amazing Fun" is okay by me.

Delicious Dollar Deals

2010-07-28T10:50:00.000-05:00

Who says you can't put together a fancy meal on a budget? Just head to your local Dollar Tree store for steak, shrimp, and salmon. You'll be the envy of all your friends...until they take a bite of the steak, shrimp, and salmon and realize that it was way overpriced.

[gallery]

Super Special School Supplies

2010-07-26T09:40:00.000-05:00

Saw this at Wal-Mart the other day. Surely that can't be right, can it? 3 bucks for a single page school supply list? The only explanation I can think of is that they are printed on unfurled unicorn horns with octopus ink.

Possibilities & Potential

2010-07-23T02:15:00.000-05:00

Is there anything that has more potential than a blank sheet of paper?

Before a crease is ever folded, before a line is ever drawn, before a letter is ever written...there is no limit to what a blank sheet of paper can be used for.

The same sheet of paper that an artist's masterpiece is drawn on could have just as easily been used as makeshift toilet paper. The same sheet of paper that was made into beautiful origami could have just as easily been made into a paper football. The same sheet of paper that contains the words of Christ could just as easily have been used for Hitler's to-do list.

Every sheet of paper starts out as a blank canvas that can be used to convey whatever message a person wants. The difference between books, art, and anything else has nothing to do with the piece of paper. It has everything to do with the person holding the pen. With every stroke of the pen the message becomes more clear. Where once there were limitless possibilities, there is now a distinct message being formed. With each word, phrase, sentence, and paragraph that is written the message becomes more clear and focused. The blank sheet of paper that was once so clean and new, so full of possibilities and potential, gradually watches that newness and potential fade away as it is consumed by the ink of the pen and the words of the author. When the pen is finally laid down, there is no more potential...there is only the message that is conveyed by the way the ink was placed on the paper.

What's true of paper is true of life as well. Every day is a blank sheet of paper in the notebook of our life. When we first wake up in the morning, our day has unlimited potential. We can send whatever message we desire with the decisions that we make and the actions that we take. Our decisions, words, and actions define the message that we send each day. At the end of the day, if you don't like what was was written on the page, don't blame it on other people or circumstances. You are the one putting pen to paper. If there is a page in your life that you are not happy with, consider it a rough draft and start over the next day. We all have days where the ink skips and smudges. We all have days where we are unable to get across the message that we want. We all have days where we would like nothing more than to rip that page out, tear it to shreds, light it on fire, and flush it down the toilet. Unfortunately, that is not an option. What's done is done. Don't obsess over things in the past. Focus on the present and look forward to the future. After all, tomorrow is a blank page with unlimited potential.

More Mountainy Photos

2010-07-22T07:58:00.000-05:00

[gallery]

(Click Photo For Full Size Image)

Rocky Mountain Photos

2010-07-20T07:41:00.000-05:00

[gallery]

Here are a few pictures from our trek up into the mountains over the weekend. More to come over the next few days.

Coloradoans Eat Weird Stuff

2010-07-16T09:08:00.000-05:00

They eat some awful strange stuff out here in Colorado. Here are a few of the things that I've seen so far. None of it really sounds too good to me, but maybe I'm just being unreasonable.

[slideshow]

Flea Market Fun (Part 3)

2010-07-14T10:05:00.000-05:00

Once again...proof that you can get almost anything at a flea market.

Haven't been insulted lately? Let the fine folks at the the 44 Country Mall in Sarcoxie, MO take care of that - and for prices that anyone can afford!

Is That Really All It Takes?

2010-07-13T02:30:00.000-05:00

Either this is the most pointless cattle guard ever, or these people have the dumbest cows ever.

Rocky Mountain High

2010-07-12T01:30:00.000-05:00

[gallery columns="4"]

(Click On Photo For Full Size)

In case you weren't aware, Colorado has legalized medicinal marijuana. Come out here and there's no way you can miss it. Here is a collection of a few stores that I have seen. Keep in mind that this is only a fraction of the stores I have seen...seriously, it's everywhere. These places are spreading like weeds. You would think the people out here would be a little more mellow with all this stuff so easily accessible.

Some of the names of the stores are a little difficult to read, so here is a list of the places pictured above (left to right and top to bottom). Agree with them or not, you definitely have to give them credit for creativity.

1. Not sure of the exact name, but it's a bright green store
*Would burn your retinas if your eyes weren't glazed over*

2. High Society
*Bringing a touch of class to the medical marijuana game*

3. Innovative Therapies
*Doesn't get much more innovative than rolling plants up in paper and lighting them on fire*

4. Smithstonian Institute
*For the thinking man and those who like to ponder the deeper things of life*

5. Little Green Pharmacy
*Surrounded by fences and guard dogs because you have to protect the good stuff*

6. Cheba Hut "Toasted" Subs
*No word on whether or not they serve "special" brownies for dessert*

7. Colorado Cherry Cider Company
*Has nothing to do with marijuana, but these places give the phrase "A Taste Of The High Country" a whole new meaning*

Flea Market Fun (Part 2)

2010-07-09T11:28:00.000-05:00

[slideshow]

Here is another flea market that I am amazed by every time I drive by. This one is in Springfield, MO. I guess you really can buy just about anything at a flea market.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

2010-07-08T02:15:00.000-05:00

I found this beauty at Vintage Stock a few weeks ago. A two episode DVD of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood cradled in a cardigan cover...of course I had to buy it. And for only $5.99...what a steal... wait, Mr. Rogers wouldn't encourage stealing...umm...what a DEAL! I don't know who came up with the cardigan cover, but what a brilliant idea - now your DVDs can be as sharply dressed as your favorite friendly neighbor!

Are These Signs Really Necessary?

2010-07-07T02:00:00.000-05:00

[gallery columns="2"]

I always thought this was pretty common knowledge, but apparently it's a big enough problem at this intersection that they felt the need to put these two signs right across the road from each other. I know they don't get a lot of rain in the area, but what are the other options? Maybe they had too many people trying to swim or kayak in the flood waters.

Flea Market Fun (Part 1)

2010-07-06T08:37:00.000-05:00

[gallery columns="4"]

We checked out a few of the local flea markets yesterday. One of them was the über classy Itchy's Flea Market in Fort Collins. I'm not sure what we expected to find at Itchy's, but here are a few of the unexpected finds.

(Click On Photo For Full Size)

Photo #1
An outside view of Itchy's Flea Market. (Seriously. It's called Itchy's Flea Market. Classic.)

Photo #2
If you're banking on protection from Itchy's Flea Market, you may want to go ahead and buy that pregnancy test while you're at it. It may or may not tell you whether the condoms were a bust.

Photo #3
Outdated medicine for when your kid is sick and you're kind of hoping to make him feel better, but don't want to spend too much money.

Photo #4
If the outdated medicine doesn't work, this creepy panda chair is guaranteed to scare the sickness out of any child.

How Patriotic Should Christians Be?

2010-07-01T11:39:00.000-05:00

Does this not seem strange to anyone else?

According to the United States Flag Code:

When used on a speaker's platform, the flag, if displayed flat, should be displayed above and behind the speaker. When displayed from a staff in a church or public auditorium, the flag of the United States of America should hold the position of superior prominence, in advance of the audience, and in the position of honor at the clergyman's or speaker's right as he faces the audience. Any other flag so displayed should be placed on the left of the clergyman or speaker or to the right of the audience. (emphasis mine)

How about now?

When did Christians become okay with giving more honor to the flag that represents the country they live in than to the flag representing the God we serve? I'm not a fan of having the United States flag anywhere inside the church, but if you insist on having it in your church, could you at least put it in its proper place? I realize that flags are just pieces of fabric, but when you display a flag you are expressing your loyalty to whatever that flag represents. And the flag that you place in the position of prominence and highest honor tells everyone who you are most loyal to.

It drives me nuts when I go into a church or Christian organization and I see the United States flag displayed, especially when it is above the Christian flag or the Christian flag is not present. By doing this it tells people that your ultimate loyalty is to the United States. Our loyalty should not be to any country, state, organization, or system, but to God and God alone. That is why I have issues with flying the United States flag inside church buildings.

It's also why I struggle with saying the Pledge Of Allegiance.

I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America,
and to the republic for which it stands,
one nation under God, indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.

I guess my biggest issue with all this is whether or not it's possible to profess allegiance and be loyal to both God and the country I live in. My ultimate loyalty will always be to God, but loyalty to a country can change. If I were a citizen of Djibouti, would my loyalty and allegiance be to America or Djibouti? I would probably be okay with pledging my allegiance to the United States above any other country, since it's where I was born and where I live, but I'm not okay with pledging my allegiance in general to a flag or a country.

I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but not too long ago I was at a function at a church and they had everyone stand up and say the Pledge of Allegiance. I just couldn't wrap my head around how they could think that it seemed like a good idea. It was at a graduation ceremony for a preschool at a church in town and they had the kids singing church songs and patriotic songs, one right after the other. When did American patriotism become so intertwined with Christianity in this country? And why do Christians seem so okay with them being so closely bound and get so upset and defensive when other people aren't as patriotic as they think they should be?

Please don't misunderstand - I'm not saying that we shouldn't be appreciative of the rights and freedom that we have as a result of living in America. We should appreciate and be thankful for the rights and freedom that we are afforded as a result of living where we do. We should be thankful for, respect, and honor those in the military and public service who have sacrificed their time, effort, energy, and lives to protect us and our freedom. We should show a certain amount of respect to the flag and what it represents. What we shouldn't do is be more devoted to the country in which we live than to the Kingdom to which we belong.

Be patriotic if you want. Be appreciative and grateful that you live where you do. Show respect to the country, the flag, and those who have given so much so that you may have something to respect and be appreciative of. Just don't forget that God and His Church must take priority over whatever country, state, or city you live in. Nations will come and go, but the Kingdom of God will reign forever.

What Were They Thinking?

2010-06-28T15:42:00.000-05:00

Jadon recently got this prize from a box of cereal. It took me a while to figure out exactly what it was. I'm not sure who decides what the cereal box prize is going to be, but I was certain they were running out of ideas. I don't know about you, but I thought for sure they had put either a Zippo lighter or a letter opener in the box for kids to play with (it's actually a marker). Maybe I should get him a box of candy cigarettes and some sealed envelopes to go along with it.

In Case You Missed It... (A Top 10 Of Sorts)

2010-06-25T08:27:00.000-05:00

Here is a Top 10 list of what are widely considered by absolutely no one to be the best posts from this blog in the years 2008 and 2009. It was voted on by no one and had input from no one. So I guess it's actually just a list of 10 mildly entertaining, moderately thought provoking, and mostly nonsensical posts that you may or may not have read before. I'll have some new stuff next week - including one that may tick some people off. Come back next week and read it for yourself.

Now on to my very own Top 10 blog posts of 2008 & 2009 (in reverse lacigolonorhc order because I think they're all #1):

1. Lost In Space [October 12, 2009]

2. King Of Burgers [July 29, 2009]

3. The Bobcat [May 8, 2009]

4. Delayed Smells [December 15, 2008]

5. You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth (And Blew Them All Away) [June 15, 2008]

6. What Is "Real"? [April 23, 2008]

7. Wet Cows [February 19, 2008]

8. Did Humans Always Have Skin? [January 26, 2008]

9. I Equal 3 (Part 2) [January 16, 2008]

10. I Equal 3 (Part 1) [January 16, 2008]

Another Quick Update

2010-06-22T02:00:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been just over a week since we arrived in Colorado. So far it has been fairly relaxing, which is nice, but now it's time to get in gear and find a job. There are several good sized towns within about a 25 mile radius, so hopefully that means there are more jobs to go around than in Joplin, but that also means there are more people looking for jobs. Guess that kind of evens things out. Best I can do is just do my part and leave the rest up to God. I'm sure He has something in store, I just wish He'd go ahead and reveal it already. Suspense is totally overrated.

After a week of being here, getting to know some of the roads and area, and beginning to get a feel for things, it doesn't seem quite as intimidating as it did at first. The weather and mountains are nice of course, but it's still no Missouri. The people still seem to be in a bit of a hurry and aren't quite as friendly as Missourians, but maybe it's just because I have some sort of outsider stench or something.

We are still missing our family, friends, and church like crazy, but that's just something that I guess we'll have to deal with. I doubt it will ever completely stop...I hope it never stops. Jadon has been missing his friends, but apparently he brought the imaginary O'Connor family along with us, so that has been nice. Jadon and I have been playing a ton of basketball in his room and his favorite thing is for him, Joshua, Brayton, Brent, Julie, and Scarlet to block my shots. We could play ball with the imaginary O'Connor family for hours.

I guess that's about all I have for now - not real exciting, but it may possibly be better than nothing. If anyone is interested, I've posted some pictures on Facebook from when we went up into the mountains the other day. They were taken with my phone, so they probably aren't the best quality, but you'll get the idea.

A Quick And Simple Update

2010-06-15T08:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I wanted to write a quick update, but there's really not much to report so far. We left right after church on Sunday morning and got in early Monday morning - around 2:00 a.m. Colorado time. The first full day here, Monday, was about as uneventful as it could be. We slept for a while, went to Perkins to grab some food, to the grocery store to get a few things, and then went and found a storage unit to put all our junk in.

It definitely doesn't feel like home yet, but hopefully that will come in time. It's not that it's not a nice place, it's just really different. All the stores look the same everywhere you go, things all seem too nice, and everyone is in a hurry. The mountains are definitely beautiful and the lack of humidity is nice. It makes a great vacation place to get away to for a while, but hopefully in time it will start to feel more like home.

Thanks to everyone for all the prayers and encouragement. We just need to keep reminding ourselves to keep a good attitude and be open to experiencing new things. This is one of the hardest things we've ever done and one of the least natural feeling things we've done. Feel free to call or come see us anytime. It's always good to hear from friends and family. We'll do our best to keep in touch, but it may be spotty until we get a little more settled. We love you all and miss you already.

It's About That Time

2010-06-12T19:35:00.000-05:00

Well, it's all loaded up and ready to go. We had a great day today - got to see most of our family and friends one last time before we head out. Every time I see them it reminds me of how much we're going to miss them. I won't lie - it's more than a little bittersweet.

It's unreal how blessed and fortunate we are to have such amazing people in our lives. I promise to do my best to keep in touch and you all must do the same.

Thanks to everyone who came today for a great day filled with a water fight, an early birthday party with a super rad Curious George cake, living room baseball/basketball, dart wars, and good old-fashioned hanging out. Can a single day get much better than that? Take away the part where we have to say goodbye to everyone and it's pretty much perfect.

We just want all our family and friends to know that we love you and can't wait to see you again. Let us know if there's ever anything we can do for you. And be sure to keep in touch and come out to see us sometimes.

We could't ask for better family and friends. Thanks again for all you do and for being more than we could ever expect or deserve.

The Deals Just Keep Getting Better

2010-06-09T19:17:00.000-05:00

Look at all those wonderful 2009 planners. I'm guessing if no one has bought them by now, it's probably not going to happen.

13 planners from the previous year at $7.00 each equals the biggest waste of $91.00 I can think of.

Maybe I should start buying all these old planners, change all the dates inside, and sell them for a profit. Think anyone would buy them?

From MO To CO

2010-06-07T04:51:00.000-05:00

Less than one week from today we will be moving to Colorado. Wow. I'm not sure what to think, what to write, or even what to do. I think the reality of it is starting to set in. For the first time in my life, I am going to be making my permanent residence outside the state of Missouri. Don't get me wrong - Colorado is nice and I've always liked it, but Missouri is home. It's where I was born and raised. I like it here. It's familiar. It's comfortable.

I realize that from the outside looking in, our decision to move makes absolutely no sense at all. Let me assure you, from the inside looking out it seems just as crazy. The responsible thing would be to stay in a place where we both have decent jobs and a church, friends, and family that we love. Of course that would be the responsible thing, but it takes no faith to do that. I have tried everything I can think of to justify staying where we're at. I have tried coming up with a reason why we shouldn't go. After all those attempts failed, I realized that all I was doing was running from what God is calling us to do.

I always thought that if God was going to call us to go somewhere, He would at least provide us with a job, a place of our own to stay, and whatever we need to make our transition as easy on us as possible. The only problem with that is that we are never promised comfort, ease, or answers. Sometimes we just need to go and trust that God is going to take care of the details. Sure they seem like pretty big details, but our God is a pretty big God.

So as we make the move from Missouri to Colorado, we are trusting God and relying on Him to provide now more than ever before. We are also realizing that it's possible to be scared out of our minds, but totally at peace at the same time...what a strange combination.

As we make our move and go about our lives, I am going to try to keep people updated on what's going on. I intend to post updates as often as possible so that everyone that cares will know what's going on with us. Feel free to let me know if you have questions or comments, or if you think of anything specific that you would like me to write about or keep you updated on.

Here goes nothing.

You Hold Me Now

2010-06-04T02:30:00.000-05:00

I wish I had more answers. I wish I always had the right words to say. I wish I always knew what to do to make people feel better. It seems like I am constantly hearing of another person going through something that no one should ever have to go through. There are people struggling with physical problems - injuries, abuse, sickness, disease, disabilities, and constant pain. There are people struggling with emotional problems - depression, insecurity, hopelessness, negative self-image, emotional abuse, and unworthiness. When I hear of people struggling with something it makes me feel so helpless. I want to make everything better, but then I realize that there's not much I can do. I guess if I always knew what to do to make people feel better, had the right words to say, and had all the answers, that would make me God...and God knows I am far from it.

Some people receive physical or emotional healing, but others never do. For those that do, it is only a temporary healing. There is no guarantee that once you are healed or relieved of your struggles that you will never go through the same thing again. We are sick. We are hurting. We are broken. We always will be as long as we are on this side of eternity. We live in a broken world where life is hard. We are never promised an easy life.

The only permanent healing comes after this life is over. It's not easy or pleasant to think about and it's even harder to accept, but the only way we can experience what we most desire (permanent healing) is by first experiencing what we least desire (death).

I love the song "You Hold Me Now" by Hillsong United. Every time I listen to it I am reminded that no matter how bad life gets, no matter what we are going through, no matter how much sickness or pain we have to endure - for those who have surrendered their lives to God there is always healing at the end of the sickness, pain, and struggle.

One of my favorite parts of the song is the part that says:

In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free

It makes me think of the feeling you get when you are upset, sad, crying, or feeling helpless and someone that cares comes along and they reach out and wrap you in their arms and embrace you. It doesn't solve all your problems, but it does help take your mind off them a little and realize that maybe it will be okay. When we are with God and in His embrace, not only will it feel better and take your mind off what you are going through - your problems and pain will actually be swept away and will be no more.

Open wide your heart in complete surrender to God and let Him embrace you.

Smoothies The Same

2010-05-31T02:45:00.000-05:00

Just so you don't think I am always picking on Wal-Mart...I saw this beauty at Target a while back. I don't know about you, but this is not the same as any strawberry smoothie I've ever had. I don't know about you, but I can honestly say that I've never had a green strawberry smoothie.

From Death To Grave

2010-05-28T19:19:00.000-05:00

How do we know for sure that we don't know what is going on around us after we die?

I've often wondered what it would be like to be aware of what's happening around me after I die. Obviously, it would be a lot less fun and interesting to be aware of what is happening post-burial, but up until that point it would be fascinating. It would be fascinating to be able to see and experience what takes place around you from death to grave, but what would it really be like?

I have plenty of questions about what it would be like, but I have far fewer answers. By "far fewer" I mean zero. Here are some of my questions:

1. Would we just be completely paralyzed - knowing and understanding what's going on, but unable to participate?

2. Would we only be able to see what comes directly into our line of sight or would we somehow be fully aware of what is going on all
around us?

3. Would we be able to feel anything physically or emotionally?

4. Would we still have to sleep or would we be able to stay awake the entire time and not have to miss anything?

5. How do we know for certain that we aren't aware of what's going on around us from the time we die until the time we are put in the
ground?

I don't have any proof that this is in any way true, but is there any indisputable proof that it's not? It's not as though we can get a definitive answer from someone who has already died. We can ask them, but a lack of an answer could mean no or it could simply mean that they aren't able to communicate.

Are we aware of what goes on around from the time we die until we are put in the ground? I don't know. There's really no way to know for sure until it actually happens. If there is no way to know, what is the point in even discussing it? What a waste of time.

What Did You Expect?

2010-05-25T05:41:00.000-05:00

Why do we help people? Why do we give to people in need? Why do we do anything for others that takes away from ourselves? Do we do it because that's what we are supposed to do? Or do we do it because in the back of our minds we are thinking that if we do something for someone else or give to someone in need we will be blessed in return? Do we ever actually do anything without expecting something in return?

I think that a lot of times we end up helping or giving to others with the expectation that we will be blessed in return. We may not consciously think about it, but I'm sure we would all admit that we get disappointed if we do something for someone else and then something bad (or nothing good) happens to us soon after. We think to ourselves, "Why is this happening to me?" or "I give and give and constantly help people - so why doesn't anything good happen to me?"

The reason we get disappointed is because our expectations were not met. Our expectation is that if we are generous or do something good for someone else, we will receive blessings because of our actions. Those expectations come from constantly being told that if we are generous, we will be blessed because of it.

For some, it is the promise of financial blessing as a result of giving that motivates them. Others are told, "God might not bless you monetarily, but..." just in case they don't receive any financial blessings because of what they do. The problem is that even when we qualify it with that statement, it puts the thought and expectation in our head that if we do good and are generous we will be blessed because of our actions, whether financially or otherwise.

I realize that the Bible makes reference to this (Psalm 112:5; Proverbs 11:25; Proverbs 22:9; etc.) and I believe that God does bless those who are generous, but we need to check our motives from time to time and make sure that we are being generous and helping others with pure intentions. We need to stop thinking about what will happen after the fact and start helping people just because they need help, especially when helping someone or being generous means that we will be put in a difficult position.

I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to all this. I like to think that I am a generous person and that I am willing to help anyone that I see in need, but when it comes down to it I am just as selfish and self-centered as anyone else. It's easy to help people when it's convenient for us and when it doesn't make our lives any more difficult, but the times when we are truly generous are when we don't think about how it will affect us or what will happen after we help that person. If we help people and give to those in need and don't think about how it affects us or our situation, then our motives are pure and we will be blessed.

Party's Over

2010-05-24T02:45:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or does it seem a bit anticlimactic to clean up party decorations while the person being celebrated is still there? I realize that things have to be cleaned up at some point, but can't it at least wait until the person whose party it is has left the building...or at least the room?

Cleaning up while the person is kind of like saying "Okay, we're done celebrating you now, so lets just get rid of all this stuff - you had your time." I'm sure it makes the person who the party was thrown for feel real special. We might as well be saying "We only care about you enough to celebrate you from this time to that time, then it's over."

What is the proper amount of time for a party anyway? What if the party goes longer than expected - how long over the planned time should you wait before starting the cleanup? Personally, I would say just leave all balloons out until they shrivel up and leave all food out until it eventually gets eaten. Maybe that's why I'm not usually in charge of parties...

For Your Enjoyment...

2010-05-22T03:00:00.000-05:00

Here are a few more blogs and websites for you to peruse. Enjoy!

Carlos Whittaker
Donald Miller
Jason Boyett
John Maxwell
Margaret Feinberg
Matthew Paul Turner
Michael Hyatt
Seth Godin
Tony Morgan

Burnside Writers Collective
Catalyst Conference
People Of The Second Chance
RELEVANT Magazine
The Mentoring Project
The Resurgence

Sorriest. Library. Ever.

2010-05-14T20:03:00.000-05:00

Saw this library in Mapleton, KS - it may be the sorriest city library I've ever seen. I think that one of the strangest things about it is that it's located at the end of the driveway of one of the houses in town. I don't know if it's actually even open anymore...if not, what exactly does that say about the town?

Planning For The Past

2010-05-12T03:24:00.000-05:00

The savings never cease at Wal-Mart! This exquisite planner has been marked down to the insanely low price of $18.97. It even comes with several bonus months! Now tell me - where else are you going to find last year's planner for that price? No one can compete with Wal-Mart! They are going to be the death of all those mom & pop stores that specialize in selling expired and useless junk. Poor mom and/or pop.

Soft As An Angel

2010-05-10T04:05:00.000-05:00

It's another Dollar Dilemma from Wal-Mart! Do you pay the $5 for 4 regular size rolls of toilet paper or go all out and buy the 12 double rolls for an extra buck? I'm not sure how soft an angel is, but the name sounds like something that would feel amazing against my skin. It would definitely be worth the extra dollar for all that extra angely soft paper.

What We Can Learn From Turtles

2010-05-07T02:30:00.000-05:00

If you want to improve your life, be more like a turtle. Being like a turtle will make you happier, less stressed, and will lead to a more adventuresome life.

We are constantly being bombarded by information, input, and interference from all around. The overload comes from a variety of places: music in the car on the way to and from work, cell phones constantly vibrating and ringing to notify us of the next call or text message, and our perceived need to stay connected to everyone we have ever met via e-mail, Facebook, and Twitter. Like a turtle who disappears inside his shell, we occasionally need to disengage and be still. From time to time we need to find a place of solitude, cut off all the distractions, and take time to clear our mind, heart, and soul. This simple act can greatly reduce the feelings of being stressed and overwhelmed.

We also need to learn to exert more control over the speed of our lives and possibly scale it back a few notches. Turtles tend to get made fun of for being slow, but maybe they are on to something. Whereas our tendency is to allow outside sources to determine the pace of our lives, turtles live their lives at their own pace and do things at their own speed. It seems that nearly everything we do has to be done at a certain time and in a specific amount of time. Whether it is school, work, church, sports games and practices, or something else, we are constantly told where we have to be and when we have to be there. Rather than let commitments and activities determine the pace of our lives, we should let the pace of our lives determine what we commit to and participate in. Don't let your schedule control your life - let your life control your schedule. Find a pace of life that is comfortable and that fits you best and live life at that speed. It's okay if you can't find the time to do everything. Determine your priorities, commit yourself to those, and do other stuff when you can.

Perhaps one of the most amazing things about turtles though is the amount of courage and commitment they show. Have you ever really stopped to think about what a huge deal it is for a turtle to cross a road? Not only does it take an immense amount of courage for a turtle to decide to cross the road, but once he's out in the middle of the road, there is no turning back. A turtle doesn't move fast enough to be able to dart back to one side or another when a car is coming, so they must have the courage to press on through the difficult, stressful, and dangerous times.

It would be much easier for a turtle to stay on the side of the road where he is at, especially when he has no idea what is waiting for him on the other side or if the journey across the road will even be worth it. What if what is on the other side is basically the same as what he is leaving? What if what is on the other side is worse than what he is leaving? It very well could be the same or worse, but what if it is a much better situation in a place that is better suited for that particular turtle? He really never knows until he gets to the other side, but if nothing else, at least it's always an adventure.

Turtles definitely have the right attitude in this area. I would encourage all of us to have the courage to take the first step, push on through the unknown, stressful, and sometimes dangerous situations, and see how it turns out on the other side. I think that if we are honest with ourselves, all of us struggle with at least one of these areas. Some of us worry about how everything is going to turn out when we get where we are going. Others of us just give up when we encounter situations that worry us, stress us out, or seem questionable. And then there are those of us that can never get up the courage to take the first step. Whichever one(s) of these that you struggle with, just remember that if you step out, press on, reach your destination, and then realize when you get there that you made a horrible mistake...it's not the end of the world. If you don't like where you end up, try something different. You can go back to where you came from or you can set out on a whole new adventure. Just enjoy the journey and see where you end up.

Be like a turtle. Slow down. Control your life - don't let it control you. Take time to get away from the noise and distractions of life. Have times dedicated to refreshing your heart, mind, and soul. Be brave. Don't always settle for what you know...you'll never know what you are missing. Don't be afraid to take the first step. Once you take the first step, keep going. Don't let fear or doubt stop you. Enjoy the journey. You only live once. At the end of your life may the list of things you've done be longer than the list of things you wish you'd done.

And watch out for turtles along the road.

Please Be Patient And Kind

2010-05-04T02:30:00.000-05:00

This may be is my favorite sign that I have ever seen in a church bathroom. I think it makes a good point - we never really consider the feelings of the toilets we use. Without going into too much detail, I would say that most of what we do to a toilet would be considered fairly rude in any other context. Maybe it's about time some toilets get a mind of their own. I just hope that they never get to the point where they can retaliate because they will be able to catch us in the most vulnerable of positions.

How To Open (Or Not Open) A Door

2010-05-03T03:23:00.000-05:00

I think sometimes I think too much. Or maybe I just over-analyze stuff.

I think the best example of this is when I am walking toward a door that I am going to have to open. Most of the time it goes fairly smoothly, but I sometimes get the feeling that I've started reaching for the door handle way too soon.

On a smooth door-opening, I tend to reach for the handle when I am a step to a step-and-a-half away from the door. Sometimes though, for some reason, I will start reaching for the door when I am several steps away. Sometimes I realize when I am in mid-reach that I am still too far from the door, which is where the real conundrum is.

Do I put my arm back down, take the steps necessary to get close enough for a standard door reach, and then reach again? Or do I just fully commit to the false start and keep that arm out in all its early reaching glory? Seems like it would save some energy and keep from looking quite so silly if I just leave it out and maybe pick up the pace a little. Is it better to look like you are trying to fly or to look like you are pumping a handle while walking? One of the great questions of our time...

I sometimes wonder if people are staring and thinking, "Why in the world is he reaching for that door so soon? Can't he see that it's still a good eight feet away? A little overzealous there aren't we?" Then I realize that nobody in the world probably even gives it a second thought. I'm sure no one else has ever reached for a door handle too soon. Really, I'm sure you always reach for it at the optimal door reach moment. Don't be self-conscious about it, it's not like everyone is watching you. No one will ever notice if you look like you are flying or pumping water. It's completely normal.

Save Even More!

2010-05-01T05:40:00.000-05:00

Silly Wal-Mart...you've done it again. Another great deal! I guess technically you're saving more than you would be if they had raised the price.